"He's just being a man." How often have we heard this pathetic statement? Typically, this famous catch phrase surfaces after some man has been caught up in a compromising situation, especially one that involves a woman. Immediately following any disgraceful allegations of infidelity or the truth surrounding his indiscretions come to the light, someone will utter, "he's just being a man." What is this specific declaration really conveying or targeting? Are we condoning his behavior or simply dismissing it? Honestly, this statement seems to suggest that all men will cheat at some point. Is there any truth to support this claim?
I'm not naive to believe that a man will exercise sound judgement if sex is assumed or promised. Typically, this type of situation doesn't favor the man. Rarely, do we survive this test. Regardless of how you slice it, he didn't act alone. If the other person involved was deceived then "yes" the cheater deserves 100% of the blame; however, if the other person knew this man was acting inappropriately yet they willingly encouraged him, then why do we highlight his actions and excuse theirs. If his infidelity involves a woman then I've never heard anyone say, "She's just being a woman."
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
Men Have Feelings Too is a movement that is focused upon educating and equipping men to realize and address things about themselves that are often ignored.
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat? Part 1
For eons, one question has always risen to the top...why do married men cheat? This sensitive topic has been repeatedly debated among the sexes, within our societies, cultures, and our respective media outlets. However, most of those debates only seem to cover the surface issues; not the heart where those decisions are truly made. This is the reason why Men Have Feelings Too has decided to raise the bar by going where most other sources would not dare go.
For starters, let's set some necessary groundwork before I present reason one. Firstly, as we examine this series of reasons, I want you to be mindful that none of them are presented in any particular order. Second, no reason is more important than the other. Third, it could be that more than one reason caused him to step out of the protective safeguards, which his marriage afforded him. Lastly, none of these reasons are given to glorify, encourage, make excuses for, or condone infidelity or divorce. Honestly, the byproducts of infidelity and divorce are gruesome, embarrassing, and many innocent bystanders and feeders from those relationships, also bare physiological and emotional bruises, just like the parties involved. Having said that, let's begin.
Are you ready? A lack of appreciation at home is one of the main reasons why married men cheat. For a man, feeling appreciated represents a vital building block that his ego or manhood is based upon. If this critical support is weakened or destroyed, it's only a matter of time before he finds an environment where that necessary support will be repaired or replaced. Initially, this place may not be within the arms of another woman; however, it might be on his job, within his social organizations, among his friends, or within his hobbies or toys. If his wife fails to see these warning signs and continues to ignore THIS need, sooner than later, she will learn that he would rather be "there" than for him to be at home.
What his wife doesn't understand is he feels demoralized and apathetic within his current domain. This imbalance will cause more arguments, periods of isolation, and him crowding his schedule with other activities that he believes will build him up not tear him down. Why? Every man NEEDS acceptance, encouraging words, and acts of appreciation from his wife. Words like "Thank you", "I love you", "I appreciate you", "I need you" does wonders for him in ways she can't even imagine. If she follows up those words with thoughtful actions like meaningful touches, running him a warm bath, fixing his dinner, putting on his "favorite" outfit, and taking the lead when it comes to his physical needs then she creates a comfortable oasis of love, support, emotional peace, and physical appeal. Collectively, these things build him up.
No man wants to work all day, get beat up in the workplace, then come home to a dirty house. Nor does he want to come home to a wife that constantly dresses like a tomboy or one that unrelentingly nags him about what he hasn't done, needs to do, or how much she's dissatisfied with him. Believe me, these types of things already weigh heavily upon the mind of a responsible man so those additional stresses only make matters worse. Not to mention, the other women in the work/market place that persistently compliment him, flirt with him, make sexual remarks, or suggest how they can make life better for him. If they tickle his ear just enough, he'll have to decide whether he'll go home where he's not being appreciated or go to a place where there's a realistic promise of appreciation and gratification. I will tell you this, the environment that strokes his ego the most will be where he will spend the majority of his time. The same door that his wife haphazardly leaves open WILL be the same one that the mistress will enter. The latter one knows that if she consistently strokes his fragile ego, gives him that extra attention, and shows him that missing appreciation, eventually, this man staving from appreciation will eat. Although he knows its wrong, he'll find justification within himself for secretly eating there with this resolve, "Since my wife doesn't appreciate me, at least someone does."
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
For starters, let's set some necessary groundwork before I present reason one. Firstly, as we examine this series of reasons, I want you to be mindful that none of them are presented in any particular order. Second, no reason is more important than the other. Third, it could be that more than one reason caused him to step out of the protective safeguards, which his marriage afforded him. Lastly, none of these reasons are given to glorify, encourage, make excuses for, or condone infidelity or divorce. Honestly, the byproducts of infidelity and divorce are gruesome, embarrassing, and many innocent bystanders and feeders from those relationships, also bare physiological and emotional bruises, just like the parties involved. Having said that, let's begin.
Are you ready? A lack of appreciation at home is one of the main reasons why married men cheat. For a man, feeling appreciated represents a vital building block that his ego or manhood is based upon. If this critical support is weakened or destroyed, it's only a matter of time before he finds an environment where that necessary support will be repaired or replaced. Initially, this place may not be within the arms of another woman; however, it might be on his job, within his social organizations, among his friends, or within his hobbies or toys. If his wife fails to see these warning signs and continues to ignore THIS need, sooner than later, she will learn that he would rather be "there" than for him to be at home.
What his wife doesn't understand is he feels demoralized and apathetic within his current domain. This imbalance will cause more arguments, periods of isolation, and him crowding his schedule with other activities that he believes will build him up not tear him down. Why? Every man NEEDS acceptance, encouraging words, and acts of appreciation from his wife. Words like "Thank you", "I love you", "I appreciate you", "I need you" does wonders for him in ways she can't even imagine. If she follows up those words with thoughtful actions like meaningful touches, running him a warm bath, fixing his dinner, putting on his "favorite" outfit, and taking the lead when it comes to his physical needs then she creates a comfortable oasis of love, support, emotional peace, and physical appeal. Collectively, these things build him up.
No man wants to work all day, get beat up in the workplace, then come home to a dirty house. Nor does he want to come home to a wife that constantly dresses like a tomboy or one that unrelentingly nags him about what he hasn't done, needs to do, or how much she's dissatisfied with him. Believe me, these types of things already weigh heavily upon the mind of a responsible man so those additional stresses only make matters worse. Not to mention, the other women in the work/market place that persistently compliment him, flirt with him, make sexual remarks, or suggest how they can make life better for him. If they tickle his ear just enough, he'll have to decide whether he'll go home where he's not being appreciated or go to a place where there's a realistic promise of appreciation and gratification. I will tell you this, the environment that strokes his ego the most will be where he will spend the majority of his time. The same door that his wife haphazardly leaves open WILL be the same one that the mistress will enter. The latter one knows that if she consistently strokes his fragile ego, gives him that extra attention, and shows him that missing appreciation, eventually, this man staving from appreciation will eat. Although he knows its wrong, he'll find justification within himself for secretly eating there with this resolve, "Since my wife doesn't appreciate me, at least someone does."
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
Men Have Feelings Too - Married Men and Infidelity
Typically, married men don't walk into the marriage with cheating or divorce being options. If the opposite were true then why would he get married in the first place? He could easily keep playing the field as a 'garden tool', heart-breaker, and life wrecker because those unfortunate outcomes are expected from single, immature men. When a man finally matures, he begins to realize that life is short, it's precious, and there's more to it than a different woman every night. Whether he confesses it or not, that lifestyle gets old too after a certain point. So...what triggers a married man to turn back to the vomit he once left? What beckons him to return to the single life or roll the dice by living a double life?
Starting this month, Men Have Feelings Too will be exposing one reason per month. Our goal is to get to the heart of the matter, not just glorify the symptoms that most blogs and magazines do. Just to wet your whistle, let me say this...the physical act of cheating is the final manifestation of a simultaneous series of thoughts, conversations, and other actions that aided it. Men Have Feelings Too will reveal those parts of the series that most overlook. We will focus upon the inner workings of those outward manifestations.
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
Starting this month, Men Have Feelings Too will be exposing one reason per month. Our goal is to get to the heart of the matter, not just glorify the symptoms that most blogs and magazines do. Just to wet your whistle, let me say this...the physical act of cheating is the final manifestation of a simultaneous series of thoughts, conversations, and other actions that aided it. Men Have Feelings Too will reveal those parts of the series that most overlook. We will focus upon the inner workings of those outward manifestations.
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
Men Have Feelings Too - Why Are You Hiding?
Who are you? Why are you hiding? If you were to ask the average man about women, sports, or politics, he'll have plenty to talk about. In fact, he may never shut up! However, if you were to ask him about himself, typically, he'll be at a loss for words. Hear me...I'm not talking about what he does or who he knows, I'm referencing who he is, how he feels, or what he meditates upon. As long as his conversations remain general, he's an expert, a wealth of knowledge, or the most interesting man in the room but when things become personal, he'll clam up faster than the speed of light. What most of you are fail to disclose is what's really important to you. Why is that?
Mister, why do you hide within that shell? Who are you? Why do you always either, deflect the spotlight away from yourself or over inflate yourself larger than your contemporaries? What are you hiding? Why are you over compensating? Why are you afraid? If you say, "I'm not hiding anything" then you're lying. Although you may never admit it, every man has things that challenge him like insecurities, fears, and doubts. These types of things are common issues that ALL of US face. The problem is WE never discuss them. If you would only swallow your pride, open your mouth, and ask for help, you will discover a plethora of highly respected men struggling to figure things out, just like YOU.
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
Mister, why do you hide within that shell? Who are you? Why do you always either, deflect the spotlight away from yourself or over inflate yourself larger than your contemporaries? What are you hiding? Why are you over compensating? Why are you afraid? If you say, "I'm not hiding anything" then you're lying. Although you may never admit it, every man has things that challenge him like insecurities, fears, and doubts. These types of things are common issues that ALL of US face. The problem is WE never discuss them. If you would only swallow your pride, open your mouth, and ask for help, you will discover a plethora of highly respected men struggling to figure things out, just like YOU.
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
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