"He's just being a man." How often have we heard this pathetic statement? Typically, this famous catch phrase surfaces after some man has been caught up in a compromising situation, especially one that involves a woman. Immediately following any disgraceful allegations of infidelity or the truth surrounding his indiscretions come to the light, someone will utter, "he's just being a man." What is this specific declaration really conveying or targeting? Are we condoning his behavior or simply dismissing it? Honestly, this statement seems to suggest that all men will cheat at some point. Is there any truth to support this claim?
I'm not naive to believe that a man will exercise sound judgement if sex is assumed or promised. Typically, this type of situation doesn't favor the man. Rarely, do we survive this test. Regardless of how you slice it, he didn't act alone. If the other person involved was deceived then "yes" the cheater deserves 100% of the blame; however, if the other person knew this man was acting inappropriately yet they willingly encouraged him, then why do we highlight his actions and excuse theirs. If his infidelity involves a woman then I've never heard anyone say, "She's just being a woman."
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
Men Have Feelings Too is a movement that is focused upon educating and equipping men to realize and address things about themselves that are often ignored.
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat? Part 1
For eons, one question has always risen to the top...why do married men cheat? This sensitive topic has been repeatedly debated among the sexes, within our societies, cultures, and our respective media outlets. However, most of those debates only seem to cover the surface issues; not the heart where those decisions are truly made. This is the reason why Men Have Feelings Too has decided to raise the bar by going where most other sources would not dare go.
For starters, let's set some necessary groundwork before I present reason one. Firstly, as we examine this series of reasons, I want you to be mindful that none of them are presented in any particular order. Second, no reason is more important than the other. Third, it could be that more than one reason caused him to step out of the protective safeguards, which his marriage afforded him. Lastly, none of these reasons are given to glorify, encourage, make excuses for, or condone infidelity or divorce. Honestly, the byproducts of infidelity and divorce are gruesome, embarrassing, and many innocent bystanders and feeders from those relationships, also bare physiological and emotional bruises, just like the parties involved. Having said that, let's begin.
Are you ready? A lack of appreciation at home is one of the main reasons why married men cheat. For a man, feeling appreciated represents a vital building block that his ego or manhood is based upon. If this critical support is weakened or destroyed, it's only a matter of time before he finds an environment where that necessary support will be repaired or replaced. Initially, this place may not be within the arms of another woman; however, it might be on his job, within his social organizations, among his friends, or within his hobbies or toys. If his wife fails to see these warning signs and continues to ignore THIS need, sooner than later, she will learn that he would rather be "there" than for him to be at home.
What his wife doesn't understand is he feels demoralized and apathetic within his current domain. This imbalance will cause more arguments, periods of isolation, and him crowding his schedule with other activities that he believes will build him up not tear him down. Why? Every man NEEDS acceptance, encouraging words, and acts of appreciation from his wife. Words like "Thank you", "I love you", "I appreciate you", "I need you" does wonders for him in ways she can't even imagine. If she follows up those words with thoughtful actions like meaningful touches, running him a warm bath, fixing his dinner, putting on his "favorite" outfit, and taking the lead when it comes to his physical needs then she creates a comfortable oasis of love, support, emotional peace, and physical appeal. Collectively, these things build him up.
No man wants to work all day, get beat up in the workplace, then come home to a dirty house. Nor does he want to come home to a wife that constantly dresses like a tomboy or one that unrelentingly nags him about what he hasn't done, needs to do, or how much she's dissatisfied with him. Believe me, these types of things already weigh heavily upon the mind of a responsible man so those additional stresses only make matters worse. Not to mention, the other women in the work/market place that persistently compliment him, flirt with him, make sexual remarks, or suggest how they can make life better for him. If they tickle his ear just enough, he'll have to decide whether he'll go home where he's not being appreciated or go to a place where there's a realistic promise of appreciation and gratification. I will tell you this, the environment that strokes his ego the most will be where he will spend the majority of his time. The same door that his wife haphazardly leaves open WILL be the same one that the mistress will enter. The latter one knows that if she consistently strokes his fragile ego, gives him that extra attention, and shows him that missing appreciation, eventually, this man staving from appreciation will eat. Although he knows its wrong, he'll find justification within himself for secretly eating there with this resolve, "Since my wife doesn't appreciate me, at least someone does."
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
For starters, let's set some necessary groundwork before I present reason one. Firstly, as we examine this series of reasons, I want you to be mindful that none of them are presented in any particular order. Second, no reason is more important than the other. Third, it could be that more than one reason caused him to step out of the protective safeguards, which his marriage afforded him. Lastly, none of these reasons are given to glorify, encourage, make excuses for, or condone infidelity or divorce. Honestly, the byproducts of infidelity and divorce are gruesome, embarrassing, and many innocent bystanders and feeders from those relationships, also bare physiological and emotional bruises, just like the parties involved. Having said that, let's begin.
Are you ready? A lack of appreciation at home is one of the main reasons why married men cheat. For a man, feeling appreciated represents a vital building block that his ego or manhood is based upon. If this critical support is weakened or destroyed, it's only a matter of time before he finds an environment where that necessary support will be repaired or replaced. Initially, this place may not be within the arms of another woman; however, it might be on his job, within his social organizations, among his friends, or within his hobbies or toys. If his wife fails to see these warning signs and continues to ignore THIS need, sooner than later, she will learn that he would rather be "there" than for him to be at home.
What his wife doesn't understand is he feels demoralized and apathetic within his current domain. This imbalance will cause more arguments, periods of isolation, and him crowding his schedule with other activities that he believes will build him up not tear him down. Why? Every man NEEDS acceptance, encouraging words, and acts of appreciation from his wife. Words like "Thank you", "I love you", "I appreciate you", "I need you" does wonders for him in ways she can't even imagine. If she follows up those words with thoughtful actions like meaningful touches, running him a warm bath, fixing his dinner, putting on his "favorite" outfit, and taking the lead when it comes to his physical needs then she creates a comfortable oasis of love, support, emotional peace, and physical appeal. Collectively, these things build him up.
No man wants to work all day, get beat up in the workplace, then come home to a dirty house. Nor does he want to come home to a wife that constantly dresses like a tomboy or one that unrelentingly nags him about what he hasn't done, needs to do, or how much she's dissatisfied with him. Believe me, these types of things already weigh heavily upon the mind of a responsible man so those additional stresses only make matters worse. Not to mention, the other women in the work/market place that persistently compliment him, flirt with him, make sexual remarks, or suggest how they can make life better for him. If they tickle his ear just enough, he'll have to decide whether he'll go home where he's not being appreciated or go to a place where there's a realistic promise of appreciation and gratification. I will tell you this, the environment that strokes his ego the most will be where he will spend the majority of his time. The same door that his wife haphazardly leaves open WILL be the same one that the mistress will enter. The latter one knows that if she consistently strokes his fragile ego, gives him that extra attention, and shows him that missing appreciation, eventually, this man staving from appreciation will eat. Although he knows its wrong, he'll find justification within himself for secretly eating there with this resolve, "Since my wife doesn't appreciate me, at least someone does."
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
Men Have Feelings Too - Married Men and Infidelity
Typically, married men don't walk into the marriage with cheating or divorce being options. If the opposite were true then why would he get married in the first place? He could easily keep playing the field as a 'garden tool', heart-breaker, and life wrecker because those unfortunate outcomes are expected from single, immature men. When a man finally matures, he begins to realize that life is short, it's precious, and there's more to it than a different woman every night. Whether he confesses it or not, that lifestyle gets old too after a certain point. So...what triggers a married man to turn back to the vomit he once left? What beckons him to return to the single life or roll the dice by living a double life?
Starting this month, Men Have Feelings Too will be exposing one reason per month. Our goal is to get to the heart of the matter, not just glorify the symptoms that most blogs and magazines do. Just to wet your whistle, let me say this...the physical act of cheating is the final manifestation of a simultaneous series of thoughts, conversations, and other actions that aided it. Men Have Feelings Too will reveal those parts of the series that most overlook. We will focus upon the inner workings of those outward manifestations.
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
Starting this month, Men Have Feelings Too will be exposing one reason per month. Our goal is to get to the heart of the matter, not just glorify the symptoms that most blogs and magazines do. Just to wet your whistle, let me say this...the physical act of cheating is the final manifestation of a simultaneous series of thoughts, conversations, and other actions that aided it. Men Have Feelings Too will reveal those parts of the series that most overlook. We will focus upon the inner workings of those outward manifestations.
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
Men Have Feelings Too - Why Are You Hiding?
Who are you? Why are you hiding? If you were to ask the average man about women, sports, or politics, he'll have plenty to talk about. In fact, he may never shut up! However, if you were to ask him about himself, typically, he'll be at a loss for words. Hear me...I'm not talking about what he does or who he knows, I'm referencing who he is, how he feels, or what he meditates upon. As long as his conversations remain general, he's an expert, a wealth of knowledge, or the most interesting man in the room but when things become personal, he'll clam up faster than the speed of light. What most of you are fail to disclose is what's really important to you. Why is that?
Mister, why do you hide within that shell? Who are you? Why do you always either, deflect the spotlight away from yourself or over inflate yourself larger than your contemporaries? What are you hiding? Why are you over compensating? Why are you afraid? If you say, "I'm not hiding anything" then you're lying. Although you may never admit it, every man has things that challenge him like insecurities, fears, and doubts. These types of things are common issues that ALL of US face. The problem is WE never discuss them. If you would only swallow your pride, open your mouth, and ask for help, you will discover a plethora of highly respected men struggling to figure things out, just like YOU.
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
Mister, why do you hide within that shell? Who are you? Why do you always either, deflect the spotlight away from yourself or over inflate yourself larger than your contemporaries? What are you hiding? Why are you over compensating? Why are you afraid? If you say, "I'm not hiding anything" then you're lying. Although you may never admit it, every man has things that challenge him like insecurities, fears, and doubts. These types of things are common issues that ALL of US face. The problem is WE never discuss them. If you would only swallow your pride, open your mouth, and ask for help, you will discover a plethora of highly respected men struggling to figure things out, just like YOU.
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
Wednesday, December 28, 2016
Men Have Feelings Too - Selah
The word Selah is a technical musical term that shows accentuation, interruption, pause, or suspension of music. In this life, we must also take the time to pause from the mundane tasks that we perform under the sun. As 2016 slowly comes to an end, let's make the time to regroup, revise, and project for 2017. This past year came with many ups and downs, triumphs and failures, and twists and turns. If you fail to objectively examine your pursuits, failures, and convictions from 2016, you will be at a great disadvantage in the coming new year. Listed below are a few things to consider.
What are your short and long-term goals for 2017?
How many goals did you set and accomplish in 2016?
If you set goals for yourself in 2016, why didn't you complete all of them? How long did you procrastinate before starting them?
What are your greatest weaknesses, distractions, and challenges? How do you plan to overcome them?
I encourage you to STOP making excuses. Take the rest of this year to reflect upon your life, convictions, and goals then make the necessary adjustments.
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
What are your short and long-term goals for 2017?
How many goals did you set and accomplish in 2016?
If you set goals for yourself in 2016, why didn't you complete all of them? How long did you procrastinate before starting them?
What are your greatest weaknesses, distractions, and challenges? How do you plan to overcome them?
I encourage you to STOP making excuses. Take the rest of this year to reflect upon your life, convictions, and goals then make the necessary adjustments.
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
Thursday, December 22, 2016
Men Have Feelings Too - Public Superheros Private Failures
This morning I began a conversation with a man by asking him the following. "What is the greatest challenge in your marriage?" He responded, "Trying to keep proper balance in my home." I then asked, "What do you mean?" He went on to say, "Trying to keep the proper balance between work and home. I spent many years serving this country as a U.S. Marine. Among my guys, I was well respected. They had my back and I had theirs. It was nothing to constantly devote 14 hours of my day leading them, training them, and looking after their personal needs. However, when I went home after my long day, my family didn't receive the same enthusiasm. They only got what I had left...if that. If they had a roof over their heads, food to eat, clothes to wear, and they were in 'good' health then my home life was considered good." As this conversation continued, he further explained how his military lifestyle and deployments strained his marriage and adversely affected his relationship with his children. After many unproductive arguments with his wife, repeated threats of divorce, and various disrespectful encounters with his children, he finally came to grips with this very stressful social imbalance.
Many people, especially men, simultaneously live as public superheros and private failures. To the outside world, they are great men, leaders, and the movers and shakers of our society. Privately or within their homes, they are null and void, absent, distant, and unapproachable. Most of their home life is spent arguing with their wives, fighting against their wayward, undisciplined children, and consuming drugs and alcohol in a desperate effort to escape these pressures. To further cope with the social imbalances within their households, many have found justification outside: like in the strip clubs, other social organizations where acceptance is the primary affirmation, or within the bed of "another" who willingly consoles them. Inwardly they know their condition is terminal but as long as they can keep their private life private, they'll continue to fool the masses by deceitfully pretending everything is great at home. Just because many of us live our lives this way, doesn't mean that it's right.
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
Many people, especially men, simultaneously live as public superheros and private failures. To the outside world, they are great men, leaders, and the movers and shakers of our society. Privately or within their homes, they are null and void, absent, distant, and unapproachable. Most of their home life is spent arguing with their wives, fighting against their wayward, undisciplined children, and consuming drugs and alcohol in a desperate effort to escape these pressures. To further cope with the social imbalances within their households, many have found justification outside: like in the strip clubs, other social organizations where acceptance is the primary affirmation, or within the bed of "another" who willingly consoles them. Inwardly they know their condition is terminal but as long as they can keep their private life private, they'll continue to fool the masses by deceitfully pretending everything is great at home. Just because many of us live our lives this way, doesn't mean that it's right.
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
Wednesday, December 14, 2016
Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat?
Why married men cheat, better yet, why men cheat has been a hot topic for eons. Many have struggled to understand this epidemic, yet attempting to explain it has always produced more questions than answers. One major reason for this phenomenon is most of those explanations have come from a bias source. In other words, men are not typically the forerunners when it comes to disclosing their wrongful deeds. Generally, it's women who have derived their unreliable reasoning from their own personal experiences. This alone has caused more confusion because it's based upon a woman's perception not reliable truth. Now, here's the twist. This time this information will be brought to you from a man's perspective.
So, why do married men cheat? Well, some of those reasons may surprise you. Starting in 2017, Men Have Feelings Too will be uncovering one reason per month. Although, this sensitive topic will produce mixed feelings, we must stop skating around the issue and deal with it. For the women, this information will be like a drug but for the men, most would rather I not speak. Having said that, let me lay some necessary groundwork.
First, ALL married men don't cheat? Secondly, the reason why this blog is only addressing the married men instead of the single ones is because pop culture expects the single ones to cheat. In other words, the institution of marriage is still respected to a slight degree. Third, married men have much more to lose than the single ones. Finally, if or when the institution of marriage is destroyed, society as a whole will crumble.
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
So, why do married men cheat? Well, some of those reasons may surprise you. Starting in 2017, Men Have Feelings Too will be uncovering one reason per month. Although, this sensitive topic will produce mixed feelings, we must stop skating around the issue and deal with it. For the women, this information will be like a drug but for the men, most would rather I not speak. Having said that, let me lay some necessary groundwork.
First, ALL married men don't cheat? Secondly, the reason why this blog is only addressing the married men instead of the single ones is because pop culture expects the single ones to cheat. In other words, the institution of marriage is still respected to a slight degree. Third, married men have much more to lose than the single ones. Finally, if or when the institution of marriage is destroyed, society as a whole will crumble.
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
Men Have Feelings Too - Five Categories of Fathers
Many people believe that all fathers are created equal. Well this misconception couldn't be farther from the truth. In fact, fatherhood at large is subdivided into five categories. Allow me to break this down for you.
Absent Father - An "absent" father should be self-explanatory. This type is non-existent or if there's any interactions with his children, it's extremely limited.
In The House but Not of The House Father - A father who is "in the house but not of the house" is one who physically resides with his own children, but he's routinely standoffish and detached when it comes to spending time with, nurturing, cultivating, and training them.
Distant Father - A "distant" father is one who doesn't physically reside with his own children, but he makes every attempt to be a part of their lives.
Surrogate Father - A "surrogate or stepfather" is one who assumes the role of father for children that aren't biologically his.
In The House and of The House Father - A father who is "in the house and of the house" is exactly how it sounds. This type physically lives in the same residence with his children, and he's involved in every aspect of their lives.
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
Absent Father - An "absent" father should be self-explanatory. This type is non-existent or if there's any interactions with his children, it's extremely limited.
In The House but Not of The House Father - A father who is "in the house but not of the house" is one who physically resides with his own children, but he's routinely standoffish and detached when it comes to spending time with, nurturing, cultivating, and training them.
Distant Father - A "distant" father is one who doesn't physically reside with his own children, but he makes every attempt to be a part of their lives.
Surrogate Father - A "surrogate or stepfather" is one who assumes the role of father for children that aren't biologically his.
In The House and of The House Father - A father who is "in the house and of the house" is exactly how it sounds. This type physically lives in the same residence with his children, and he's involved in every aspect of their lives.
Why is this fundamental understanding necessary? First, if you
desire to be an excellent father this information is mandatory. Secondly, there
are many pitfalls associated with each of these categories that must be
considered and understood. Just having this essential understanding will not
only aid you in your current fatherly role but it will also reveal distinctive tendencies,
weaknesses, and strengths that I know you’ve never contemplated. If you choose
to remain ignorant to these distinguishing factors, THEY will
plague YOU. Later, we'll dig deeper into these categories, but for now, my goal
was to stretch your mind by introducing them to you. If you can't
wait until we discuss them individually, you can obtain this priceless, sought after knowledge NOW on my website.
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
Monday, November 28, 2016
Men Have Feelings Too - The Two Classic Games
Since the beginning of time, two classic games have constantly influenced the lives of many. They are played so often that many of us have willingly accepted them as our default setting. Without question, they have destroyed and plagued numerous relationships, annihilated trust, and tormented ALL of their victims. As a result, many of us live with permanent internal scars, which were caused by poisonous fragments that hid within the recesses of our hearts.
Do you know the two classic games I'm referencing? Sure, you do; you instinctively play them all of the time. For now, I'll only introduce them. Later on, we'll discuss their rules and implications.
Game 1 - "Guess Who"
"Guess Who" A.K.A. "The Manipulation Game" is played every day. This game involves the "Art of Manipulation" through the medium of deception to control and subdue its opposition. Many of us have renamed this game as "GAME."
Game 2 - "The Blame Game"
"The Blame Game" is also played every day. This game deceitfully forces others to take liability and responsibility for our shortcomings by ascribing our perceived crime to them or another object.
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
Do you know the two classic games I'm referencing? Sure, you do; you instinctively play them all of the time. For now, I'll only introduce them. Later on, we'll discuss their rules and implications.
Game 1 - "Guess Who"
"Guess Who" A.K.A. "The Manipulation Game" is played every day. This game involves the "Art of Manipulation" through the medium of deception to control and subdue its opposition. Many of us have renamed this game as "GAME."
Game 2 - "The Blame Game"
"The Blame Game" is also played every day. This game deceitfully forces others to take liability and responsibility for our shortcomings by ascribing our perceived crime to them or another object.
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Men Have Feelings Too - The Enemy In-A-Me
Who's your worst enemy? Could it be the guy you thought was
your friend prior to him betraying you? Could it be your "Ex" after
you discovered that she cheated, turned your children against you, and then had
you falsely arrested? Could it be the guy who was secretly pursuing your woman,
disrespecting your home, or stealing money from you? Could it be the woman that
you thought was the ONE until she cleaned out your bank account? Although all
of these situations are deal breakers in their own right, none of them compare
to your greatest enemy. Despite popular opinion, YOU are your OWN worst ENEMY.
Take into account how many times you've allowed the FEAR of
failure, the unknown, and your past to derail you or cloud your judgments.
Also, take into account how many times you've allowed your destructive habits,
lustful appetites, or immediate gratification to rule YOU. Consider how many
times you've violated your own conscience, will, standards, or morals. Also,
consider how many times you've lied to yourself, you were deceived by your
feelings, or you were misled by your OWN heart after you decided to follow it.
Certainly, I know that you can find millions of excuses to justify your
thoughts and behaviors; however, if you'll carefully examine each of your
shortcomings, you'll discover that YOU'RE the common denominator!
Until next time...
Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com
Feel free to leave comments or feedback.
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