Men Have Feelings Too - Do Most Men Cheat?

One of the most intriguing questions that many women ask is, "Do most men cheat?" The unpopular follow up to this question is how do you define cheating? In other words, what actions classify a man as a cheater? To further complicate things, allow me to let you in on a very critical piece of information. Believe it or not, men and women define the word cheating or the actions that identify a cheater differently. To bring clarity to my point, listen up!

Typically, women view the act of cheating by motive. What was her man intending to do? What was the initial thing that happened and all of the continual processes that kept things going until her man reached his final goal? To rationalize this, the victim places herself into the shoes of the other woman. What did her man tell the other woman for her to feel comfortable with him? What did he do to or for her that made her open her heart to him? Did he buy her anything, especially sentimental tokens of affection? Did he take her anywhere publicly to prove to her that he's probably not seeing anyone else? Did he make quality time for her on the phone or in person to prove he's interested and to build intimacy? Observations, questions, actions, and other information like this is then gathered, sorted, and compared to every word and action her man ever said or done to win her heart. Which means, every thought, word spoken, and action he demonstrated towards the other woman were ultimately leading them to a physical connection. Let me say it a different way, a woman views every individual step towards the ultimate goal of physical intimacy as cheating, even if the ultimate goal is never reached. The end game means that some other individual is receiving attention and affections to which the victim is being deprived.

Typically, men view cheating as physical acts. A physical connection like 'sex' means his woman has crossed the cheating line. All actions and other contributing factors that lead to his woman giving herself to the other individual aren't really considered cheating until that physical line is crossed. After it's crossed, all supporting evidence become relevant. In others words, unless his woman has sex, whether oral or physical, with another individual, then to him, cheating has not occurred. Mature men ultimately know that if his woman is giving herself to another then she's already mentally gone. Her mind and heart now belong to another.

Having explained the two views, when a woman asks, "Do most men cheat?" then I must stay that it's all a matter of perspective? Who's standard are you using yours or his?    

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat? Part 6

Part 6 of the series "Why Do Married Men Cheat" resumes today. Since last month contained Father's Day, all Men Have Feelings Too blogs were dedicated to fatherhood. Now that we're back to regularly scheduled broadcasting, we won't delay any longer; especially for the dedicated fans who love this particular series. Before we reveal today's blog reason regarding men and cheating, let's recap.

1. January - A lack of appreciation
2. February - Unresolved lust
3. March - The lack of trust
4. April - Lack of sex or inconsistent sex life
5. May - Constant nagging/Complaining

The official part 6 launch party starts right now. Have you ever been in a relationship and you sensed things changing for the worst? I mean...you started to notice things that either you took for granted or love blinded your eyes from seeing them. Things like, you don't talk anymore or at least, not like you use to. Every time you attempt to have meaningful dialogue with the other individual, you're shut down by a series of short answers. Or you notice, you don't hang out as much. It seems like they would rather spend time with everyone besides you. Then you build up enough courage to confront the other individual and they insult your intelligence all the more by blowing you off. Their typical replies are, "What are you talking about?" "That's all in your mind." "I'm good. Nothing is bothering me." All of these are defense mechanisms to keep them from truly discussing what's really on their mind.

If this scenario represents your current state of affairs then allow me to let you in on a little secret. Unresolved conflict is another reason why married men cheat. Since men typically internalize their frustrations prior to communicating them, the potency of their expressions are often watered down to keep from hurting their wife's feelings, sounding harsh, or being discredited because what he really wanted to express might not be grammatically correct. These spoon fed conversations, instead of what he truly wanted to say regarding how he actually feels, causes him further sorrows because it greatly diminishes the impact of his words to kinder, more palatable expressions. His 'acceptable' utterances combined with the underlining dispute(s) will gradually undermine every fiber of the relationship causing both of you to eventually grow apart. This typically happens when one individual is too selfish to compromise for the sake of the entire relationship and the other party feels trapped in a losing situation. The trapped party bends, and bends, and bends trying to make things work until finally, they get sick and tired of constantly feeling unappreciated. At that point, they want nothing more than to obtain the appreciation they've been earnestly seeking but not receiving; even if, it's from another source. If both people aren't willing to compromise by esteeming the other person's needs above their own, then it's only a matter of time before time runs out on that relationship.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat? Part 4

Why do married men cheat? Men Have Feelings Too is ready to reveal the next reason. This one doesn't need a formal introduction. One main reason why men cheat is because their wife is either not putting out or not giving it up regularly. Once a week, once a month, or once every few months is not enough to feed her starving lion. Think about it, no one feeds their natural body according to this unrealistic schedule. Whenever his wife forces him to go more than three days without her meeting this need, he will become withdrawn, antsy, irritated, or angry towards her.

Let me break this down for you. Men are visual creatures who think about sex multiple times every hour. Then compound this relentless drive with provocatively dressed, flirtatious women who will become sources of temptation for him within the market and workplace. Not to mention, all the other media sources that glorify and encourage lustful desires and illicit sex. By the time he gets home, he's so visually overstimulated that he's about ready to explode. His wife then adds fuel to an already hot fire by wearing sexy panties or nothing at all to bed. By this point, his expectation for sex is almost impossible for him to manage, especially if he's still attracted to his wife. If he must endure this torture chamber night after night without relief, eventually something he may regret is going to happen.

Many wives just don't understand or they underestimate his daily struggles with this. As a result, they'll willingly choose to pencil him in whenever they're in the mood or whenever they get around to it. To most of them, consistently making love to their husband is considered a chore or excessive but to him, it's as natural as eating or breathing. Since most married men find it difficult to articulate this potentially dangerous situation to their wife without it turning into an unnecessary argument; don't worry fellows, I'll be your advocate. Wives, please realize that what I'm conveying to you is real. This is the silent cry of every married man. If you still refuse to see how vulnerable your husband really is after this blog is posted then don't become upset with him if another woman decides to feed your starving husband. Frankly, countless marriages have failed or currently failing all because most husbands are afraid to discuss this very sensitive subject with their wife.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat? Part 3

Men Have Feelings Too is at it again with Part 3 of our series, "Why Do Married Men Cheat." Before I reveal the next reason, I want to encourage you to value and respect your marriages. What do you do, how do you feel, or what's your mindset when you don't trust your spouse? Better yet, what about when you believe your spouse doesn't trust you? Five, four, three, two, one...The lack of trust is another reason why married men cheat. Since trust covers a very wide spectrum, let's jump right into the shallow end of the pool. Maybe, we'll get an opportunity to develop the rest of the film later.

First and foremost, trust is the backbone of any relationship. Within the masculine world, a woman's undeniable trust is paramount to everything she will believe. Initially, it's pure and saturated with innumerable liberties and concessions. However, the very moment it's compromised, it will cause the victim to doubt and question every motive and action demonstrated by the violator. This is where things can get a little tricky.

Generally, when a man violates a woman's trust, he expects her to be understanding, forgiving, and to quickly return back to how things used to be prior his violation. To him, a kiss is just a kiss. Better yet, sex is just sex. I know this may be hard for most women to comprehend but within his mind, he honestly believes his feelings weren't attached to his actions. He was simply caught up in the moment. As a result, he'll become exceedingly annoyed when he discovers that he can't sell this concept to his victim. Furthermore, if he's left in this state too long, he'll become tremendously frustrated with her and the relationship to the point of cheating again or leaving altogether.

Conversely, when he's the victim or believes she's being unfaithful, inwardly he knows that she was physically involved with whomever because of emotional attachment. This makes this situation difficult for most men to reason through. Typically, after the news breaks, he'll find immediate justification within his heart to be harsh or violent towards her regardless of her reasoning. In many cases, he will reciprocate to get even or cut her off altogether because he also knows he'll never be able to reclaim that piece of her heart that has been compromised forever.        

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat? Part 2

On January 18, 2017, the "Why do married men cheat" series officially launched. Today, part two will be brought to you without delay. Unresolved lust is another reason why married men cheat. This deceitful adversary hides within the heart, plagues the mind, and will sabotage any relationship if it isn't aggressively apprehended. Men, especially married men, often underestimate the power of lust and its associated desires. Just so you know, lust is defined as an uncontrolled sexual desire or appetite. The KEY word that we will be focusing upon is 'uncontrolled.'

Every day, men are bombarded with sexual content. Women dressing provocatively on the street or in the marketplace, the music videos we all love to watch, and the pornographic material that most of us crave are all examples of this phenomenon. Believe it or not, each one of these examples constantly feeds our appetites for more. If these sources aren't enough to tip our lustful scales towards compromise, allow me to add a few more less obvious triggers to this conversation.

When any man has had any sexual experiences prior to him getting married, occasionally, these past experiences will attempt to creep back into his life. This invasion is often unannounced and under certain circumstances, his old flame(s) will reappear too. Talk about unfair, how is a man supposed to stay faithful to his wife when his ex-lover(s) did things to his body that his wife won't even attempt. Not to mention, what if he's secretly fantasizing about a blast from his past while he's preparing for sex with his wife. It's situations like these that periodically compete with every ounce of faithfulness within his body. Let me say this, the more sexual experiences a man has had will ultimately determine the amount of difficulty he must endure regarding his variability to unresolved lust. 

Let me take this conversation up one more level. One practical way a married man tries to logically cope with this lustful imbalance is by having a consistent "love-life" with his wife. In the husband's defense, God Almighty originally designed marriage as a means for him and his wife to mutually meet one another's sexual needs. Therefore, to him, his wife represents his ONLY acceptable outlet for this type of expression. In the wife's defense, why should she be required to subject herself to his uncontrollable desires given that they were essentially created by someone else other than herself? Therefore, to her, his needs seem to be a never-ending chore. Now, here comes the juicy part. Over the course of time, what do you think will happen within his heart and mind if his wife constantly refuses to humble herself to meet his sexual needs? It's at this pivotal point, he's left with the following options: One, masturbate; two, engage in another activity that he prayerfully hopes will temporarily take his mind off his apparent need; three, cross the line of fidelity. Most, if not all the time, options one and three are realistic byproducts of an intermittent "love life" with his wife and unresolved lust.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Men Have Feelings Too - "Just Being A Man"

"He's just being a man." How often have we heard this pathetic statement? Typically, this famous catch phrase surfaces after some man has been caught up in a compromising situation, especially one that involves a woman. Immediately following any disgraceful allegations of infidelity or the truth surrounding his indiscretions come to the light, someone will utter, "he's just being a man." What is this specific declaration really conveying or targeting? Are we condoning his behavior or simply dismissing it? Honestly, this statement seems to suggest that all men will cheat at some point. Is there any truth to support this claim?

I'm not naive to believe that a man will exercise sound judgement if sex is assumed or promised. Typically, this type of situation doesn't favor the man. Rarely, do we survive this test. Regardless of how you slice it, he didn't act alone. If the other person involved was deceived then "yes" the cheater deserves 100% of the blame; however, if the other person knew this man was acting inappropriately yet they willingly encouraged him, then why do we highlight his actions and excuse theirs. If his infidelity involves a woman then I've never heard anyone say, "She's just being a woman."

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat? Part 1

For eons, one question has always risen to the top...why do married men cheat? This sensitive topic has been repeatedly debated among the sexes, within our societies, cultures, and our respective media outlets. However, most of those debates only seem to cover the surface issues; not the heart where those decisions are truly made. This is the reason why Men Have Feelings Too has decided to raise the bar by going where most other sources would not dare go.

For starters, let's set some necessary groundwork before I present reason one. Firstly, as we examine this series of reasons, I want you to be mindful that none of them are presented in any particular order. Second, no reason is more important than the other. Third, it could be that more than one reason caused him to step out of the protective safeguards, which his marriage afforded him. Lastly, none of these reasons are given to glorify, encourage, make excuses for, or condone infidelity or divorce. Honestly, the byproducts of infidelity and divorce are gruesome, embarrassing, and many innocent bystanders and feeders from those relationships, also bare physiological and emotional bruises, just like the parties involved. Having said that, let's begin.

Are you ready? A lack of appreciation at home is one of the main reasons why married men cheat. For a man, feeling appreciated represents a vital building block that his ego or manhood is based upon. If this critical support is weakened or destroyed, it's only a matter of time before he finds an environment where that necessary support will be repaired or replaced. Initially, this place may not be within the arms of another woman; however, it might be on his job, within his social organizations, among his friends, or within his hobbies or toys. If his wife fails to see these warning signs and continues to ignore THIS need, sooner than later, she will learn that he would rather be "there" than for him to be at home.

What his wife doesn't understand is he feels demoralized and apathetic within his current domain. This imbalance will cause more arguments, periods of isolation, and him crowding his schedule with other activities that he believes will build him up not tear him down. Why? Every man NEEDS acceptance, encouraging words, and acts of appreciation from his wife. Words like "Thank you", "I love you", "I appreciate you", "I need you" does wonders for him in ways she can't even imagine. If she follows up those words with thoughtful actions like meaningful touches, running him a warm bath, fixing his dinner, putting on his "favorite" outfit, and taking the lead when it comes to his physical needs then she creates a comfortable oasis of love, support, emotional peace, and physical appeal. Collectively, these things build him up.

No man wants to work all day, get beat up in the workplace, then come home to a dirty house. Nor does he want to come home to a wife that constantly dresses like a tomboy or one that unrelentingly nags him about what he hasn't done, needs to do, or how much she's dissatisfied with him. Believe me, these types of things already weigh heavily upon the mind of a responsible man so those additional stresses only make matters worse. Not to mention, the other women in the work/market place that persistently compliment him, flirt with him, make sexual remarks, or suggest how they can make life better for him. If they tickle his ear just enough, he'll have to decide whether he'll go home where he's not being appreciated or go to a place where there's a realistic promise of appreciation and gratification. I will tell you this, the environment that strokes his ego the most will be where he will spend the majority of his time. The same door that his wife haphazardly leaves open WILL be the same one that the mistress will enter. The latter one knows that if she consistently strokes his fragile ego, gives him that extra attention, and shows him that missing appreciation, eventually, this man staving from appreciation will eat. Although he knows its wrong, he'll find justification within himself for secretly eating there with this resolve, "Since my wife doesn't appreciate me, at least someone does."

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Men Have Feelings Too - Married Men and Infidelity

Typically, married men don't walk into the marriage with cheating or divorce being options. If the opposite were true then why would he get married in the first place? He could easily keep playing the field as a 'garden tool', heart-breaker, and life wrecker because those unfortunate outcomes are expected from single, immature men. When a man finally matures, he begins to realize that life is short, it's precious, and there's more to it than a different woman every night. Whether he confesses it or not, that lifestyle gets old too after a certain point. So...what triggers a married man to turn back to the vomit he once left? What beckons him to return to the single life or roll the dice by living a double life?

Starting this month, Men Have Feelings Too will be exposing one reason per month. Our goal is to get to the heart of the matter, not just glorify the symptoms that most blogs and magazines do. Just to wet your whistle, let me say this...the physical act of cheating is the final manifestation of a simultaneous series of thoughts, conversations, and other actions that aided it. Men Have Feelings Too will reveal those parts of the series that most overlook. We will focus upon the inner workings of those outward manifestations.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat?

Why married men cheat, better yet, why men cheat has been a hot topic for eons. Many have struggled to understand this epidemic, yet attempting to explain it has always produced more questions than answers. One major reason for this phenomenon is most of those explanations have come from a bias source. In other words, men are not typically the forerunners when it comes to disclosing their wrongful deeds. Generally, it's women who have derived their unreliable reasoning from their own personal experiences. This alone has caused more confusion because it's based upon a woman's perception not reliable truth. Now, here's the twist. This time this information will be brought to you from a man's perspective.

So, why do married men cheat? Well, some of those reasons may surprise you. Starting in 2017, Men Have Feelings Too will be uncovering one reason per month. Although, this sensitive topic will produce mixed feelings, we must stop skating around the issue and deal with it. For the women, this information will be like a drug but for the men, most would rather I not speak. Having said that, let me lay some necessary groundwork.

First, ALL married men don't cheat? Secondly, the reason why this blog is only addressing the married men instead of the single ones is because pop culture expects the single ones to cheat. In other words, the institution of marriage is still respected to a slight degree. Third, married men have much more to lose than the single ones. Finally, if or when the institution of marriage is destroyed, society as a whole will crumble.


Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.