Men Have Feelings Too - Do Most Men Cheat?

One of the most intriguing questions that many women ask is, "Do most men cheat?" The unpopular follow up to this question is how do you define cheating? In other words, what actions classify a man as a cheater? To further complicate things, allow me to let you in on a very critical piece of information. Believe it or not, men and women define the word cheating or the actions that identify a cheater differently. To bring clarity to my point, listen up!

Typically, women view the act of cheating by motive. What was her man intending to do? What was the initial thing that happened and all of the continual processes that kept things going until her man reached his final goal? To rationalize this, the victim places herself into the shoes of the other woman. What did her man tell the other woman for her to feel comfortable with him? What did he do to or for her that made her open her heart to him? Did he buy her anything, especially sentimental tokens of affection? Did he take her anywhere publicly to prove to her that he's probably not seeing anyone else? Did he make quality time for her on the phone or in person to prove he's interested and to build intimacy? Observations, questions, actions, and other information like this is then gathered, sorted, and compared to every word and action her man ever said or done to win her heart. Which means, every thought, word spoken, and action he demonstrated towards the other woman were ultimately leading them to a physical connection. Let me say it a different way, a woman views every individual step towards the ultimate goal of physical intimacy as cheating, even if the ultimate goal is never reached. The end game means that some other individual is receiving attention and affections to which the victim is being deprived.

Typically, men view cheating as physical acts. A physical connection like 'sex' means his woman has crossed the cheating line. All actions and other contributing factors that lead to his woman giving herself to the other individual aren't really considered cheating until that physical line is crossed. After it's crossed, all supporting evidence become relevant. In others words, unless his woman has sex, whether oral or physical, with another individual, then to him, cheating has not occurred. Mature men ultimately know that if his woman is giving herself to another then she's already mentally gone. Her mind and heart now belong to another.

Having explained the two views, when a woman asks, "Do most men cheat?" then I must stay that it's all a matter of perspective? Who's standard are you using yours or his?    

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

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Men Have Feelings Too - The Lack of Communication in a Relationship Causes Problems

Most people will mention it but a greater number of them truly underestimate the reality that the lack of communication in a relationship causes major problems. Quite frankly, most relationships fail because the people involved in them aren't adequately communicating. I'm not speaking about standard items like "What's for dinner?", "Does this shirt match these pants?", or "Did you pay the power bill?" but I'm referring to the intimate issues of the heart that are extremely important to each specific individual. More often than not, these sore spots, insecurities, and hot buttons are usually suppressed because they're typically accompanied by feelings of fear, guilt, remorse, and embarrassment. If they're ever mentioned at all, the person expressing them generally walks away feeling misunderstood, disregarded, or like they wasted their time expressing what was near and dear to their heart. Over time, these small foxes will undermine the relationship because one or both parties feel trapped in a situation where they don't feel truly loved, valued, or respected.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat? Part 5

"When are you going to clean out that garage because I've been asking you about it for months?" "You never call me when you're at work?" "Why haven't you texted me today?" "Why didn't you like my comment or pic on Facebook?" "You never take me out anymore." "You don't spend enough time with me." "Is there someone else because you've changed?" If you've ever heard this series of persistent questions or complaints from your wife, or another series like it, then constant nagging has to be another reason why married men cheat.

Typically, men are logical thinkers who desire peace within their home. No man wants to work all day in the hostile environments of temptation, backstabbing, unrealistic demands and deadlines, or the natural elements like extreme cold or heat then come home to what he believes to be more turmoil. From the moment he clocks out at work until he goes to bed, all he wants to do is detox from his long day of mental and physical assaults. Truth be told, all he wants now is food, maybe a drink, visual entertainment like the TV, and sex from his wife. This is how he plans to unwind from his stressful day.

On his way home or the very moment he enters his home, he's interrogated by his wife. Since she hasn't talked to him for much of her day, now she's ready to converse. Immediately, she hits him with an overwhelming grocery list of items that she wants to ask or get answered. To her it's mental bonding and simulation but to him, it's way to much. In his mind, he prefers for her to shut up but if he's planning on "getting some" later on that night, then he better at least make the conversation pleasant. At first, he's willing to entertain one or two of her questions with short direct answers but when her conversation quickly turns into criticisms and complaints, WATCH OUT! Man, did you see those boxing gloves just fly off? What started off as a friendly exhibition between them just turned into a slug fest. As their exchanges continue to intensify, all he can think about is a temporary escape back to the peaceful, stress free paradise that he envisioned. If this trend continues to persists over time, eventually, he'll get to the point of desiring a permanent escape.      

Until next time... 

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat? Part 4

Why do married men cheat? Men Have Feelings Too is ready to reveal the next reason. This one doesn't need a formal introduction. One main reason why men cheat is because their wife is either not putting out or not giving it up regularly. Once a week, once a month, or once every few months is not enough to feed her starving lion. Think about it, no one feeds their natural body according to this unrealistic schedule. Whenever his wife forces him to go more than three days without her meeting this need, he will become withdrawn, antsy, irritated, or angry towards her.

Let me break this down for you. Men are visual creatures who think about sex multiple times every hour. Then compound this relentless drive with provocatively dressed, flirtatious women who will become sources of temptation for him within the market and workplace. Not to mention, all the other media sources that glorify and encourage lustful desires and illicit sex. By the time he gets home, he's so visually overstimulated that he's about ready to explode. His wife then adds fuel to an already hot fire by wearing sexy panties or nothing at all to bed. By this point, his expectation for sex is almost impossible for him to manage, especially if he's still attracted to his wife. If he must endure this torture chamber night after night without relief, eventually something he may regret is going to happen.

Many wives just don't understand or they underestimate his daily struggles with this. As a result, they'll willingly choose to pencil him in whenever they're in the mood or whenever they get around to it. To most of them, consistently making love to their husband is considered a chore or excessive but to him, it's as natural as eating or breathing. Since most married men find it difficult to articulate this potentially dangerous situation to their wife without it turning into an unnecessary argument; don't worry fellows, I'll be your advocate. Wives, please realize that what I'm conveying to you is real. This is the silent cry of every married man. If you still refuse to see how vulnerable your husband really is after this blog is posted then don't become upset with him if another woman decides to feed your starving husband. Frankly, countless marriages have failed or currently failing all because most husbands are afraid to discuss this very sensitive subject with their wife.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Men Have Feelings Too - Inwardly Divorced Outwardly Married

Inwardly divorced, outwardly married seems like it should be a contradiction but is it really? Is this concept crazily far-fetched or is it a sobering reality? How can anyone be divorced and married at the same time? Whether anyone cares to acknowledge this heartbreaking trend or not doesn't remove its overpowering existence from so many homes around this world. Everyday, there are numerous men and women who wake up hoping, wishing, and praying they weren't married to their current spouse.
Some of this is so bad that one of them will secretly desire ill-will to befall their spouse so that their conscience won't condemn them for being the first one to leave their failed marriage. Although we know some of this is conditional due to the ups and downs of this life, others constantly live in this state of perpetual discontent. In fact, many of them stay together on paper because of religious obligations, tax breaks. their public appearance, or for the sake of the children. Not only are their bedrooms ice cold, most of them don't even sleep in the same bed anymore. Can you say intimacy? There isn't any intimacy, love making, or meaningful conversations. Instead, they're either constantly arguing and fighting or silence has totally consumed their home. If they speak at all, it's an occasional surface conversation regarding the children, bills, or domestic duties. Who wants to willingly live their lives married to someone whom they don't like or love anymore? Although it's unfortunate, many live exactly like this everyday. If this wasn't true then we wouldn't be discussing it.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat? Part 3

Men Have Feelings Too is at it again with Part 3 of our series, "Why Do Married Men Cheat." Before I reveal the next reason, I want to encourage you to value and respect your marriages. What do you do, how do you feel, or what's your mindset when you don't trust your spouse? Better yet, what about when you believe your spouse doesn't trust you? Five, four, three, two, one...The lack of trust is another reason why married men cheat. Since trust covers a very wide spectrum, let's jump right into the shallow end of the pool. Maybe, we'll get an opportunity to develop the rest of the film later.

First and foremost, trust is the backbone of any relationship. Within the masculine world, a woman's undeniable trust is paramount to everything she will believe. Initially, it's pure and saturated with innumerable liberties and concessions. However, the very moment it's compromised, it will cause the victim to doubt and question every motive and action demonstrated by the violator. This is where things can get a little tricky.

Generally, when a man violates a woman's trust, he expects her to be understanding, forgiving, and to quickly return back to how things used to be prior his violation. To him, a kiss is just a kiss. Better yet, sex is just sex. I know this may be hard for most women to comprehend but within his mind, he honestly believes his feelings weren't attached to his actions. He was simply caught up in the moment. As a result, he'll become exceedingly annoyed when he discovers that he can't sell this concept to his victim. Furthermore, if he's left in this state too long, he'll become tremendously frustrated with her and the relationship to the point of cheating again or leaving altogether.

Conversely, when he's the victim or believes she's being unfaithful, inwardly he knows that she was physically involved with whomever because of emotional attachment. This makes this situation difficult for most men to reason through. Typically, after the news breaks, he'll find immediate justification within his heart to be harsh or violent towards her regardless of her reasoning. In many cases, he will reciprocate to get even or cut her off altogether because he also knows he'll never be able to reclaim that piece of her heart that has been compromised forever.        

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat? Part 2

On January 18, 2017, the "Why do married men cheat" series officially launched. Today, part two will be brought to you without delay. Unresolved lust is another reason why married men cheat. This deceitful adversary hides within the heart, plagues the mind, and will sabotage any relationship if it isn't aggressively apprehended. Men, especially married men, often underestimate the power of lust and its associated desires. Just so you know, lust is defined as an uncontrolled sexual desire or appetite. The KEY word that we will be focusing upon is 'uncontrolled.'

Every day, men are bombarded with sexual content. Women dressing provocatively on the street or in the marketplace, the music videos we all love to watch, and the pornographic material that most of us crave are all examples of this phenomenon. Believe it or not, each one of these examples constantly feeds our appetites for more. If these sources aren't enough to tip our lustful scales towards compromise, allow me to add a few more less obvious triggers to this conversation.

When any man has had any sexual experiences prior to him getting married, occasionally, these past experiences will attempt to creep back into his life. This invasion is often unannounced and under certain circumstances, his old flame(s) will reappear too. Talk about unfair, how is a man supposed to stay faithful to his wife when his ex-lover(s) did things to his body that his wife won't even attempt. Not to mention, what if he's secretly fantasizing about a blast from his past while he's preparing for sex with his wife. It's situations like these that periodically compete with every ounce of faithfulness within his body. Let me say this, the more sexual experiences a man has had will ultimately determine the amount of difficulty he must endure regarding his variability to unresolved lust. 

Let me take this conversation up one more level. One practical way a married man tries to logically cope with this lustful imbalance is by having a consistent "love-life" with his wife. In the husband's defense, God Almighty originally designed marriage as a means for him and his wife to mutually meet one another's sexual needs. Therefore, to him, his wife represents his ONLY acceptable outlet for this type of expression. In the wife's defense, why should she be required to subject herself to his uncontrollable desires given that they were essentially created by someone else other than herself? Therefore, to her, his needs seem to be a never-ending chore. Now, here comes the juicy part. Over the course of time, what do you think will happen within his heart and mind if his wife constantly refuses to humble herself to meet his sexual needs? It's at this pivotal point, he's left with the following options: One, masturbate; two, engage in another activity that he prayerfully hopes will temporarily take his mind off his apparent need; three, cross the line of fidelity. Most, if not all the time, options one and three are realistic byproducts of an intermittent "love life" with his wife and unresolved lust.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat? Part 1

For eons, one question has always risen to the top...why do married men cheat? This sensitive topic has been repeatedly debated among the sexes, within our societies, cultures, and our respective media outlets. However, most of those debates only seem to cover the surface issues; not the heart where those decisions are truly made. This is the reason why Men Have Feelings Too has decided to raise the bar by going where most other sources would not dare go.

For starters, let's set some necessary groundwork before I present reason one. Firstly, as we examine this series of reasons, I want you to be mindful that none of them are presented in any particular order. Second, no reason is more important than the other. Third, it could be that more than one reason caused him to step out of the protective safeguards, which his marriage afforded him. Lastly, none of these reasons are given to glorify, encourage, make excuses for, or condone infidelity or divorce. Honestly, the byproducts of infidelity and divorce are gruesome, embarrassing, and many innocent bystanders and feeders from those relationships, also bare physiological and emotional bruises, just like the parties involved. Having said that, let's begin.

Are you ready? A lack of appreciation at home is one of the main reasons why married men cheat. For a man, feeling appreciated represents a vital building block that his ego or manhood is based upon. If this critical support is weakened or destroyed, it's only a matter of time before he finds an environment where that necessary support will be repaired or replaced. Initially, this place may not be within the arms of another woman; however, it might be on his job, within his social organizations, among his friends, or within his hobbies or toys. If his wife fails to see these warning signs and continues to ignore THIS need, sooner than later, she will learn that he would rather be "there" than for him to be at home.

What his wife doesn't understand is he feels demoralized and apathetic within his current domain. This imbalance will cause more arguments, periods of isolation, and him crowding his schedule with other activities that he believes will build him up not tear him down. Why? Every man NEEDS acceptance, encouraging words, and acts of appreciation from his wife. Words like "Thank you", "I love you", "I appreciate you", "I need you" does wonders for him in ways she can't even imagine. If she follows up those words with thoughtful actions like meaningful touches, running him a warm bath, fixing his dinner, putting on his "favorite" outfit, and taking the lead when it comes to his physical needs then she creates a comfortable oasis of love, support, emotional peace, and physical appeal. Collectively, these things build him up.

No man wants to work all day, get beat up in the workplace, then come home to a dirty house. Nor does he want to come home to a wife that constantly dresses like a tomboy or one that unrelentingly nags him about what he hasn't done, needs to do, or how much she's dissatisfied with him. Believe me, these types of things already weigh heavily upon the mind of a responsible man so those additional stresses only make matters worse. Not to mention, the other women in the work/market place that persistently compliment him, flirt with him, make sexual remarks, or suggest how they can make life better for him. If they tickle his ear just enough, he'll have to decide whether he'll go home where he's not being appreciated or go to a place where there's a realistic promise of appreciation and gratification. I will tell you this, the environment that strokes his ego the most will be where he will spend the majority of his time. The same door that his wife haphazardly leaves open WILL be the same one that the mistress will enter. The latter one knows that if she consistently strokes his fragile ego, gives him that extra attention, and shows him that missing appreciation, eventually, this man staving from appreciation will eat. Although he knows its wrong, he'll find justification within himself for secretly eating there with this resolve, "Since my wife doesn't appreciate me, at least someone does."

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Men Have Feelings Too - Public Superheros Private Failures

This morning I began a conversation with a man by asking him the following. "What is the greatest challenge in your marriage?" He responded, "Trying to keep proper balance in my home." I then asked, "What do you mean?" He went on to say, "Trying to keep the proper balance between work and home. I spent many years serving this country as a U.S. Marine. Among my guys, I was well respected. They had my back and I had theirs. It was nothing to constantly devote 14 hours of my day leading them, training them, and looking after their personal needs. However, when I went home after my long day, my family didn't receive the same enthusiasm. They only got what I had left...if that. If they had a roof over their heads, food to eat, clothes to wear, and they were in 'good' health then my home life was considered good." As this conversation continued, he further explained how his military lifestyle and deployments strained his marriage and adversely affected his relationship with his children. After many unproductive arguments with his wife, repeated threats of divorce, and various disrespectful encounters with his children, he finally came to grips with this very stressful social imbalance.

Many people, especially men, simultaneously live as public superheros and private failures. To the outside world, they are great men, leaders, and the movers and shakers of our society. Privately or within their homes, they are null and void, absent, distant, and unapproachable. Most of their home life is spent arguing with their wives, fighting against their wayward, undisciplined children, and consuming drugs and alcohol in a desperate effort to escape these pressures. To further cope with the social imbalances within their households, many have found justification outside: like in the strip clubs, other social organizations where acceptance is the primary affirmation, or within the bed of "another" who willingly consoles them. Inwardly they know their condition is terminal but as long as they can keep their private life private, they'll continue to fool the masses by deceitfully pretending everything is great at home. Just because many of us live our lives this way, doesn't mean that it's right.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Men Have Feelings Too - The Two Classic Games

Since the beginning of time, two classic games have constantly influenced the lives of many. They are played so often that many of us have willingly accepted them as our default setting. Without question, they have destroyed and plagued numerous relationships, annihilated trust, and tormented ALL of their victims. As a result, many of us live with permanent internal scars, which were caused by poisonous fragments that hid within the recesses of our hearts.

Do you know the two classic games I'm referencing? Sure, you do; you instinctively play them all of the time. For now, I'll only introduce them. Later on, we'll discuss their rules and implications.

Game 1 - "Guess Who"

"Guess Who" A.K.A. "The Manipulation Game" is played every day. This game involves the "Art of Manipulation" through the medium of deception to control and subdue its opposition. Many of us have renamed this game as "GAME."

Game 2 - "The Blame Game"

"The Blame Game" is also played every day. This game deceitfully forces others to take liability and responsibility for our shortcomings by ascribing our perceived crime to them or another object.


Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.