Men Have Feelings Too - Public Superheros Private Failures

This morning I began a conversation with a man by asking him the following. "What is the greatest challenge in your marriage?" He responded, "Trying to keep proper balance in my home." I then asked, "What do you mean?" He went on to say, "Trying to keep the proper balance between work and home. I spent many years serving this country as a U.S. Marine. Among my guys, I was well respected. They had my back and I had theirs. It was nothing to constantly devote 14 hours of my day leading them, training them, and looking after their personal needs. However, when I went home after my long day, my family didn't receive the same enthusiasm. They only got what I had left...if that. If they had a roof over their heads, food to eat, clothes to wear, and they were in 'good' health then my home life was considered good." As this conversation continued, he further explained how his military lifestyle and deployments strained his marriage and adversely affected his relationship with his children. After many unproductive arguments with his wife, repeated threats of divorce, and various disrespectful encounters with his children, he finally came to grips with this very stressful social imbalance.

Many people, especially men, simultaneously live as public superheros and private failures. To the outside world, they are great men, leaders, and the movers and shakers of our society. Privately or within their homes, they are null and void, absent, distant, and unapproachable. Most of their home life is spent arguing with their wives, fighting against their wayward, undisciplined children, and consuming drugs and alcohol in a desperate effort to escape these pressures. To further cope with the social imbalances within their households, many have found justification outside: like in the strip clubs, other social organizations where acceptance is the primary affirmation, or within the bed of "another" who willingly consoles them. Inwardly they know their condition is terminal but as long as they can keep their private life private, they'll continue to fool the masses by deceitfully pretending everything is great at home. Just because many of us live our lives this way, doesn't mean that it's right.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


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