Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - Do Most Men Cheat?

One of the most intriguing questions that many women ask is, "Do most men cheat?" The unpopular follow up to this question is how do you define cheating? In other words, what actions classify a man as a cheater? To further complicate things, allow me to let you in on a very critical piece of information. Believe it or not, men and women define the word cheating or the actions that identify a cheater differently. To bring clarity to my point, listen up!

Typically, women view the act of cheating by motive. What was her man intending to do? What was the initial thing that happened and all of the continual processes that kept things going until her man reached his final goal? To rationalize this, the victim places herself into the shoes of the other woman. What did her man tell the other woman for her to feel comfortable with him? What did he do to or for her that made her open her heart to him? Did he buy her anything, especially sentimental tokens of affection? Did he take her anywhere publicly to prove to her that he's probably not seeing anyone else? Did he make quality time for her on the phone or in person to prove he's interested and to build intimacy? Observations, questions, actions, and other information like this is then gathered, sorted, and compared to every word and action her man ever said or done to win her heart. Which means, every thought, word spoken, and action he demonstrated towards the other woman were ultimately leading them to a physical connection. Let me say it a different way, a woman views every individual step towards the ultimate goal of physical intimacy as cheating, even if the ultimate goal is never reached. The end game means that some other individual is receiving attention and affections to which the victim is being deprived.

Typically, men view cheating as physical acts. A physical connection like 'sex' means his woman has crossed the cheating line. All actions and other contributing factors that lead to his woman giving herself to the other individual aren't really considered cheating until that physical line is crossed. After it's crossed, all supporting evidence become relevant. In others words, unless his woman has sex, whether oral or physical, with another individual, then to him, cheating has not occurred. Mature men ultimately know that if his woman is giving herself to another then she's already mentally gone. Her mind and heart now belong to another.

Having explained the two views, when a woman asks, "Do most men cheat?" then I must stay that it's all a matter of perspective? Who's standard are you using yours or his?    

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - "Do I Look Fat in this Dress?"

The Shhhh Series - Part 2 - "Do I Look Fat in this Dress?"

"Honey, do I look fat in this dress?"

"Here we go again." "I'm sick and tired of biting my tongue every time you ask me this stupid question." "Why do you continue to ask me something that you already know?" "Yes, you look fat in my once favorite dress!" "In fact, I can't stand the way you look in it." "Just the thought of you wearing it makes me sick to my stomach." "My mouth is rapidly filling with vomit right now; Yuk...this taste is disguising...swallow it, swallow it." "It should be against the law for me to be forced to look at you in this condition." "I desperately want to tell you the truth without hurting your feelings, so to protect them, I'm compelled to lie to you about what I really see and think." "Apparently, you're too slow to comprehend the obvious hints I keep giving you?" "I've bought a treadmill, gym memberships, healthier food choices, and encouraged you to work out but all of these methods have been rejected." "What more do you want me to do?" "Let's be realistic, I'm not sexually attracted to you anymore." "I haven't willingly touched you in months." "Truthfully, I don't want to touch you at all but since we're married, we both have needs, and I don't want you to accuse me of cheating, I guess I'll just swallow my pride and take one for the team every now and then." "I've discovered that watching porn before coming to bed really helps." "Why can't you look like Ms. Thang at the gym or that sexy admin assistant on the second floor at the job?" "Those goddesses are fine as wine." "Every time I smell their perfume or see them, I'm immediately aroused." "Then, I come home, see you, and my arousal is quickly extinguished." "Who am I kidding?" "You'll never be as fine as those ladies because you value food more than your appearance."

"Honey, did you hear me?" "As you can see, I'm wearing your favorite dress." "The one you told me you love to see me in." "Tell me the truth, do I look fat in this dress?"

"Huh?" "Baby, I sincerely apologize for not responding sooner." "I had a few things on my mind." "Yes, you look amazing in my favorite dress!"

Shhhhh......

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Monday, July 10, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - The Lack of Communication in a Relationship Causes Problems

Most people will mention it but a greater number of them truly underestimate the reality that the lack of communication in a relationship causes major problems. Quite frankly, most relationships fail because the people involved in them aren't adequately communicating. I'm not speaking about standard items like "What's for dinner?", "Does this shirt match these pants?", or "Did you pay the power bill?" but I'm referring to the intimate issues of the heart that are extremely important to each specific individual. More often than not, these sore spots, insecurities, and hot buttons are usually suppressed because they're typically accompanied by feelings of fear, guilt, remorse, and embarrassment. If they're ever mentioned at all, the person expressing them generally walks away feeling misunderstood, disregarded, or like they wasted their time expressing what was near and dear to their heart. Over time, these small foxes will undermine the relationship because one or both parties feel trapped in a situation where they don't feel truly loved, valued, or respected.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat? Part 6

Part 6 of the series "Why Do Married Men Cheat" resumes today. Since last month contained Father's Day, all Men Have Feelings Too blogs were dedicated to fatherhood. Now that we're back to regularly scheduled broadcasting, we won't delay any longer; especially for the dedicated fans who love this particular series. Before we reveal today's blog reason regarding men and cheating, let's recap.

1. January - A lack of appreciation
2. February - Unresolved lust
3. March - The lack of trust
4. April - Lack of sex or inconsistent sex life
5. May - Constant nagging/Complaining

The official part 6 launch party starts right now. Have you ever been in a relationship and you sensed things changing for the worst? I mean...you started to notice things that either you took for granted or love blinded your eyes from seeing them. Things like, you don't talk anymore or at least, not like you use to. Every time you attempt to have meaningful dialogue with the other individual, you're shut down by a series of short answers. Or you notice, you don't hang out as much. It seems like they would rather spend time with everyone besides you. Then you build up enough courage to confront the other individual and they insult your intelligence all the more by blowing you off. Their typical replies are, "What are you talking about?" "That's all in your mind." "I'm good. Nothing is bothering me." All of these are defense mechanisms to keep them from truly discussing what's really on their mind.

If this scenario represents your current state of affairs then allow me to let you in on a little secret. Unresolved conflict is another reason why married men cheat. Since men typically internalize their frustrations prior to communicating them, the potency of their expressions are often watered down to keep from hurting their wife's feelings, sounding harsh, or being discredited because what he really wanted to express might not be grammatically correct. These spoon fed conversations, instead of what he truly wanted to say regarding how he actually feels, causes him further sorrows because it greatly diminishes the impact of his words to kinder, more palatable expressions. His 'acceptable' utterances combined with the underlining dispute(s) will gradually undermine every fiber of the relationship causing both of you to eventually grow apart. This typically happens when one individual is too selfish to compromise for the sake of the entire relationship and the other party feels trapped in a losing situation. The trapped party bends, and bends, and bends trying to make things work until finally, they get sick and tired of constantly feeling unappreciated. At that point, they want nothing more than to obtain the appreciation they've been earnestly seeking but not receiving; even if, it's from another source. If both people aren't willing to compromise by esteeming the other person's needs above their own, then it's only a matter of time before time runs out on that relationship.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.