Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - Do Most Men Cheat?

One of the most intriguing questions that many women ask is, "Do most men cheat?" The unpopular follow up to this question is how do you define cheating? In other words, what actions classify a man as a cheater? To further complicate things, allow me to let you in on a very critical piece of information. Believe it or not, men and women define the word cheating or the actions that identify a cheater differently. To bring clarity to my point, listen up!

Typically, women view the act of cheating by motive. What was her man intending to do? What was the initial thing that happened and all of the continual processes that kept things going until her man reached his final goal? To rationalize this, the victim places herself into the shoes of the other woman. What did her man tell the other woman for her to feel comfortable with him? What did he do to or for her that made her open her heart to him? Did he buy her anything, especially sentimental tokens of affection? Did he take her anywhere publicly to prove to her that he's probably not seeing anyone else? Did he make quality time for her on the phone or in person to prove he's interested and to build intimacy? Observations, questions, actions, and other information like this is then gathered, sorted, and compared to every word and action her man ever said or done to win her heart. Which means, every thought, word spoken, and action he demonstrated towards the other woman were ultimately leading them to a physical connection. Let me say it a different way, a woman views every individual step towards the ultimate goal of physical intimacy as cheating, even if the ultimate goal is never reached. The end game means that some other individual is receiving attention and affections to which the victim is being deprived.

Typically, men view cheating as physical acts. A physical connection like 'sex' means his woman has crossed the cheating line. All actions and other contributing factors that lead to his woman giving herself to the other individual aren't really considered cheating until that physical line is crossed. After it's crossed, all supporting evidence become relevant. In others words, unless his woman has sex, whether oral or physical, with another individual, then to him, cheating has not occurred. Mature men ultimately know that if his woman is giving herself to another then she's already mentally gone. Her mind and heart now belong to another.

Having explained the two views, when a woman asks, "Do most men cheat?" then I must stay that it's all a matter of perspective? Who's standard are you using yours or his?    

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - "Do I Look Fat in this Dress?"

The Shhhh Series - Part 2 - "Do I Look Fat in this Dress?"

"Honey, do I look fat in this dress?"

"Here we go again." "I'm sick and tired of biting my tongue every time you ask me this stupid question." "Why do you continue to ask me something that you already know?" "Yes, you look fat in my once favorite dress!" "In fact, I can't stand the way you look in it." "Just the thought of you wearing it makes me sick to my stomach." "My mouth is rapidly filling with vomit right now; Yuk...this taste is disguising...swallow it, swallow it." "It should be against the law for me to be forced to look at you in this condition." "I desperately want to tell you the truth without hurting your feelings, so to protect them, I'm compelled to lie to you about what I really see and think." "Apparently, you're too slow to comprehend the obvious hints I keep giving you?" "I've bought a treadmill, gym memberships, healthier food choices, and encouraged you to work out but all of these methods have been rejected." "What more do you want me to do?" "Let's be realistic, I'm not sexually attracted to you anymore." "I haven't willingly touched you in months." "Truthfully, I don't want to touch you at all but since we're married, we both have needs, and I don't want you to accuse me of cheating, I guess I'll just swallow my pride and take one for the team every now and then." "I've discovered that watching porn before coming to bed really helps." "Why can't you look like Ms. Thang at the gym or that sexy admin assistant on the second floor at the job?" "Those goddesses are fine as wine." "Every time I smell their perfume or see them, I'm immediately aroused." "Then, I come home, see you, and my arousal is quickly extinguished." "Who am I kidding?" "You'll never be as fine as those ladies because you value food more than your appearance."

"Honey, did you hear me?" "As you can see, I'm wearing your favorite dress." "The one you told me you love to see me in." "Tell me the truth, do I look fat in this dress?"

"Huh?" "Baby, I sincerely apologize for not responding sooner." "I had a few things on my mind." "Yes, you look amazing in my favorite dress!"

Shhhhh......

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Monday, July 10, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - The Lack of Communication in a Relationship Causes Problems

Most people will mention it but a greater number of them truly underestimate the reality that the lack of communication in a relationship causes major problems. Quite frankly, most relationships fail because the people involved in them aren't adequately communicating. I'm not speaking about standard items like "What's for dinner?", "Does this shirt match these pants?", or "Did you pay the power bill?" but I'm referring to the intimate issues of the heart that are extremely important to each specific individual. More often than not, these sore spots, insecurities, and hot buttons are usually suppressed because they're typically accompanied by feelings of fear, guilt, remorse, and embarrassment. If they're ever mentioned at all, the person expressing them generally walks away feeling misunderstood, disregarded, or like they wasted their time expressing what was near and dear to their heart. Over time, these small foxes will undermine the relationship because one or both parties feel trapped in a situation where they don't feel truly loved, valued, or respected.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat? Part 6

Part 6 of the series "Why Do Married Men Cheat" resumes today. Since last month contained Father's Day, all Men Have Feelings Too blogs were dedicated to fatherhood. Now that we're back to regularly scheduled broadcasting, we won't delay any longer; especially for the dedicated fans who love this particular series. Before we reveal today's blog reason regarding men and cheating, let's recap.

1. January - A lack of appreciation
2. February - Unresolved lust
3. March - The lack of trust
4. April - Lack of sex or inconsistent sex life
5. May - Constant nagging/Complaining

The official part 6 launch party starts right now. Have you ever been in a relationship and you sensed things changing for the worst? I mean...you started to notice things that either you took for granted or love blinded your eyes from seeing them. Things like, you don't talk anymore or at least, not like you use to. Every time you attempt to have meaningful dialogue with the other individual, you're shut down by a series of short answers. Or you notice, you don't hang out as much. It seems like they would rather spend time with everyone besides you. Then you build up enough courage to confront the other individual and they insult your intelligence all the more by blowing you off. Their typical replies are, "What are you talking about?" "That's all in your mind." "I'm good. Nothing is bothering me." All of these are defense mechanisms to keep them from truly discussing what's really on their mind.

If this scenario represents your current state of affairs then allow me to let you in on a little secret. Unresolved conflict is another reason why married men cheat. Since men typically internalize their frustrations prior to communicating them, the potency of their expressions are often watered down to keep from hurting their wife's feelings, sounding harsh, or being discredited because what he really wanted to express might not be grammatically correct. These spoon fed conversations, instead of what he truly wanted to say regarding how he actually feels, causes him further sorrows because it greatly diminishes the impact of his words to kinder, more palatable expressions. His 'acceptable' utterances combined with the underlining dispute(s) will gradually undermine every fiber of the relationship causing both of you to eventually grow apart. This typically happens when one individual is too selfish to compromise for the sake of the entire relationship and the other party feels trapped in a losing situation. The trapped party bends, and bends, and bends trying to make things work until finally, they get sick and tired of constantly feeling unappreciated. At that point, they want nothing more than to obtain the appreciation they've been earnestly seeking but not receiving; even if, it's from another source. If both people aren't willing to compromise by esteeming the other person's needs above their own, then it's only a matter of time before time runs out on that relationship.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - A Letter to Stepdad

Men Have Feelings Too presents, "A Letter to Stepdad." Of all the fathers, a stepfather is my favorite. You assume the role of father to children that aren't biologically yours. Certainly, on a good day, being a biological father isn't easy yet for some reason or another, you willingly accept and occupy this role regardless of the endless challenges. That's why I admire, respect, and salute you in ways that are too great for words. Having said that, I don't envy you or your position in any way. Why you ask? I'll give you a few reasons.

For starters, many men won't think twice about walking into a ready-made family. As you well know, situations like these can be extremely volatile, problematic, and too much dang work for minimal return. That's why most men choose to steer away from relationships that contain these types of nuisances. Within a short-term arrangement, most men won't have an issue with a friend with benefits setup because many are conditioned to just tolerate her children as long as they're sleeping with or using the mother. Yet all the while she'll be led to believe everything is progressing towards something permanent. However, when it comes to marriage or a serious long-term relationship, the vast majority will find every excuse in the book to quickly abandon this transitory train. Again, I applaud you for responsibly manning up, sticking with it, and not allowing this train to derail you.

Lastly, who wants to constantly feel like a disrespected outsider? If her children haven't experienced another man living with them, other than possibly their own father, then just your presence there could be awkward and tremendously overwhelming. Prior to your arrival, your wife and her children developed a secret code of survival protocols that you'll never understand. Which means she is their sole advocate and she will do everything within her power to safeguard herself and her children from experiencing abandonment or rejection related to another failed relationship. Then you arrived and interrupted everything. With that being said, try to discipline or question them without her approval and see what happens. If you're able to remain consistent over time, they may learn to appreciate and love you for making this remarkable sacrifice but until then, you're a marked man.

Until next time...  

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Friday, June 16, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - Single Fathers Support

Being a single father is extremely difficult. It doesn't matter where you turn, single fathers support groups, resources, and blogs are impossible to find. With this in mind, Men Have Feelings Too will gladly throw our input into this dismal arena. Before we start overwhelming you with relatable and reliable content, let's first identify the two types of single fathers.

Absent and Distant Fathers are opposites of the same coin. While the former is irresponsible, the latter desires to be responsible but several people and challenges seek to destroy his inward zeal to be a good dad. If these people and things are successful, they will pollute his heart turning it from distant to absent. For further clarity, let's examine both of them a little closer.

An absent father is self-explanatory. This type is nonexistent or if there are any interactions with his children, they're extremely limited. The majority of the time, he'll persistently deny his involvement in impregnating the woman who bears his child, even when the child looks like his identical twin. Furthermore, he couldn't care less about how present and future pains and frustrations will affect his child or the child's mother.

On the other hand, a distant father is one who doesn't physically reside with his own children, but he makes every attempt to be a part of their lives. While his deliberate actions to father his child or children are highly commendable, there are a few entities who always seem to stir up major havoc. Not only that, each one of them would absolutely love to see him fail. The Big 3, the entities I'm referencing, are his baby's mother's dominating father, her influential mother, and a controlling rooster in the hen house (i.e. her new man or husband). As we continue to discuss single fathers, their struggles, and challenges, we'll have no choice but to explore each of these factors and the various problems they can cause.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Friday, June 9, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - What is the Definition of Father?

What is the definition of father? Although this seems like a simple question, it's far from that. Believe it or not, there are several children who physically reside with a man they call 'father' however, he's routinely detached when it comes to spending time with, nurturing, or training them. His job, habits, addictions, and him trying to keep up with his love and social life blinds him from the reality of his fatherly responsibilities. He would rather go drink with the fellas, work long hours, or entertain his new boo versus spending quality time with his children. If you let him tell it, he's the best father ever. Oh yes, he has all his spectators fooled. His friends, coworkers, and social buddies see him as being hardworking and devoted, but his family, namely his children, will tell you a much different story. To them, they're invisible. Although they inwardly crave his attention, often times they simply become the scapegoats for his frustrations and anger. If they would dare to say, "Daddy, could you spend some time with me?", they would be abruptly greeted with every excuse under the sun or their quality time with him will be cut short by something else more important. Now tell me, can this guy honorably uphold the title of father or is he an imposter?

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.



Thursday, June 1, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - What is Fatherhood?

What is fatherhood? Before we can truly set our sights upon fatherhood, we must first identify who the fathers are. On December 7th, 2016, I clearly laid out "Five Categories of Fathers". Since Father's Day is on the 18th of this month, I felt it would be appropriate to dive a little deeper into a few of these categories. Today, we will be examining "The Absent" Father.

For review, an absent father is either non-existent or his interactions are extremely limited within the lives of his children. I, and like many of you, have personally experienced the voids that were left by my father. Honestly, some of them are still crying out for validation. These cavities are and have been devastating to the psychological, emotional, spiritual, and sometimes physical well-being of the abandoned. This blog, which is a short excerpt from my book, will be dedicated to this cause. I can only hope that you may gleam insight from my life's experiences.

"Before I started kindergarten, I don’t remember much about the direct impact my father had upon me; however, I do remember vague glimpses of him from birth until about age three or four. Then again, all I knew about him was his name. I became familiar with the fact that I hardly ever saw him, which would imply that he must have lived somewhere else. Indirectly, these same facts, which I knew to be true, produced so many other questions within my mind and heart."
 
"I can remember several broken promises that still echo within my ears. I believed them without question simply because I loved and trusted him, being that he was my father. As these vows soon became the joke of the day, the contemplation of them produced anger, hatred, bitterness, distrust, and disrespect. Now I know what you are probably thinking, these are some very strong feelings and you may be right. However, imagine a teenage boy with this type of disposition. Having feelings like these deep within me without an outlet to defuse them. Since I was conditioned to believe that sharing my emotions might produce ridicule, I was powerless and incapable of conveying what I was truly feeling to others. This created a walking time bomb effect; all I needed was the right match to light the fuse. Regarding women, I was reckless like a bull in a China Shop. At times, these very feelings were uncontrollable, which caused me to act out in school and to hurt others that dared to get close to me. To add insult to injury, I had a hard time trusting others who claimed they loved me. This alone made me a user; simply using others to get what I wanted at their expense. All of these were the byproducts of not having my dad present but this is just the tip of the iceberg."

"Now do you see some of the perils that an absent father can cause? Are you still without understanding? I needed my father to provide the structure, stability, direction, encouragement, and disciplines that were all lacking within my life. These missing elements would’ve brought proper balance, aided in the correction of these types of behaviors, and opened the door for him to love me through my life’s challenges. Nevertheless, when a father is absent, who is there to answer this bell and to make the crooked paths straight?"

Buy Book Now

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat? Part 5

"When are you going to clean out that garage because I've been asking you about it for months?" "You never call me when you're at work?" "Why haven't you texted me today?" "Why didn't you like my comment or pic on Facebook?" "You never take me out anymore." "You don't spend enough time with me." "Is there someone else because you've changed?" If you've ever heard this series of persistent questions or complaints from your wife, or another series like it, then constant nagging has to be another reason why married men cheat.

Typically, men are logical thinkers who desire peace within their home. No man wants to work all day in the hostile environments of temptation, backstabbing, unrealistic demands and deadlines, or the natural elements like extreme cold or heat then come home to what he believes to be more turmoil. From the moment he clocks out at work until he goes to bed, all he wants to do is detox from his long day of mental and physical assaults. Truth be told, all he wants now is food, maybe a drink, visual entertainment like the TV, and sex from his wife. This is how he plans to unwind from his stressful day.

On his way home or the very moment he enters his home, he's interrogated by his wife. Since she hasn't talked to him for much of her day, now she's ready to converse. Immediately, she hits him with an overwhelming grocery list of items that she wants to ask or get answered. To her it's mental bonding and simulation but to him, it's way to much. In his mind, he prefers for her to shut up but if he's planning on "getting some" later on that night, then he better at least make the conversation pleasant. At first, he's willing to entertain one or two of her questions with short direct answers but when her conversation quickly turns into criticisms and complaints, WATCH OUT! Man, did you see those boxing gloves just fly off? What started off as a friendly exhibition between them just turned into a slug fest. As their exchanges continue to intensify, all he can think about is a temporary escape back to the peaceful, stress free paradise that he envisioned. If this trend continues to persists over time, eventually, he'll get to the point of desiring a permanent escape.      

Until next time... 

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - Show Me all the Superheroes

Although many people can identify and name fictional Superheroes like Superman, Batman, and Spider-man, many of us don't know of any non-fictional heroes. Can you currently name at least one real hero? I didn't think so. For the record, there are many non-fictional superheros that you interact with everyday. If you pay close attention and listen very carefully, you will always hear them or one of their loyal subjects boasting of their greatness. Their self-exaltation is so animated, convincing, and charismatic, that if you aren't careful, you will be worshiping them too. Oh, you don't think that you can worship any being other than The Almighty Creator of the Universe? If not, think again. Many of us can't wait to see their latest Facebook post, Instagram pic, or social media feed. We will willingly go out of our way or inconvenience ourselves just to prove our devotion. What makes all of our superheros so attractive are these KEY ingredients: Generally, they have tangible possessions and intangible attributes that we secretly crave for ourselves. Our inner lust for those ingredients then drives us to desire more. Since we know that we can't be them, the best next thing is for us to get as close as we can to their grandeur. If we do, then maybe, just maybe, some of who they are or what they have may rub off on us.

Until next time... 

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - What does molested mean?

The Shhhh Series - Part 1 - "What does molested mean?"

What does 'molested' mean? According to Merriam Webster, it has two meanings. First, it means to annoy, disturb, or persecute especially with hostile intent or injurious effect. Secondly, it means to make annoying sexual advances to; especially: to force physical and usually sexual contact on. Now that we have established our parameters, let's take our first glimpse into the Shhh series. Men Have Feelings Too willingly removes the taboo blinders that many of us pridefully wear, and reveals a door into the molestation trap.

The conversation below accurately describes this predator's slick-talking playbook. Their ultimate goal is power. To gain it, they'll use the deceptive masks of trust, compassion, the victim's guilt, innocence, and vulnerability, and physical/emotional/psychological (PEP) reinforcement to outwit their unsuspecting victims for their selfish benefit. Typically, the victim is the one who permanently bears these PEP scars. Before we begin this dialogue, let me reveal a few likely suspects: family members, authority or religious figures, or someone the victim naturally likes, loves, or respects.

"You know that I love you, don't you?" "Just touch it." "Don't be afraid." "I'm not going to hurt you." "Trust me, OK?" "From the first time I saw you, I knew you were special." "You know that you're special right?" "OK, OK, I'll stop but before I do, can I ask you something?" "Do you love me?" "You do?" "Well, I love you too." "I promise I won't hurt you." "How does that feel?" "See, I told you that I wouldn't hurt you." "Relax!..Relax!" "If you would just relax, it won't hurt as much." "See, I told you everything will be OK." "I love you...OK?" "See, you're starting to like it." "How does it feel now?" "Don't it feel good?" "I love this and I love you." "This will be our little secret." "If you will just keep this between us, I will protect you and give you whatever you want." "Shhh, don't tell nobody."

Until next time... 

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - Monkey See, Monkey Do

Way too often, men take for granted their role as a father. Just so you know, being a father is a PRIVILEGE not a RIGHT; therefore, fatherhood comes at a very high price, a price that most of us are not willing to pay in full. As long as things are good, then we're good but when things aren't so good, many of us choose to run from our responsibility.

Some fathers are the first ones to proclaim that a woman doesn't know the proper way or is incapable of raising a son. The question I want to know is "Do you know the proper way?" Fatherhood doesn't come with a manual nor tutorial, which means that everything we've learned regarding our ever-evolving profession have came by either trial and error or by observation and implementation. Our children aren't any different. In other words, "monkey see, monkey do." Although our words have power, nothing speaks louder and more impactful to them than our daily lifestyles. I encourage you to constantly take inventory of your words, actions, habits, and addictions.

 Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat? Part 4

Why do married men cheat? Men Have Feelings Too is ready to reveal the next reason. This one doesn't need a formal introduction. One main reason why men cheat is because their wife is either not putting out or not giving it up regularly. Once a week, once a month, or once every few months is not enough to feed her starving lion. Think about it, no one feeds their natural body according to this unrealistic schedule. Whenever his wife forces him to go more than three days without her meeting this need, he will become withdrawn, antsy, irritated, or angry towards her.

Let me break this down for you. Men are visual creatures who think about sex multiple times every hour. Then compound this relentless drive with provocatively dressed, flirtatious women who will become sources of temptation for him within the market and workplace. Not to mention, all the other media sources that glorify and encourage lustful desires and illicit sex. By the time he gets home, he's so visually overstimulated that he's about ready to explode. His wife then adds fuel to an already hot fire by wearing sexy panties or nothing at all to bed. By this point, his expectation for sex is almost impossible for him to manage, especially if he's still attracted to his wife. If he must endure this torture chamber night after night without relief, eventually something he may regret is going to happen.

Many wives just don't understand or they underestimate his daily struggles with this. As a result, they'll willingly choose to pencil him in whenever they're in the mood or whenever they get around to it. To most of them, consistently making love to their husband is considered a chore or excessive but to him, it's as natural as eating or breathing. Since most married men find it difficult to articulate this potentially dangerous situation to their wife without it turning into an unnecessary argument; don't worry fellows, I'll be your advocate. Wives, please realize that what I'm conveying to you is real. This is the silent cry of every married man. If you still refuse to see how vulnerable your husband really is after this blog is posted then don't become upset with him if another woman decides to feed your starving husband. Frankly, countless marriages have failed or currently failing all because most husbands are afraid to discuss this very sensitive subject with their wife.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - Marriage Changes Things

Earlier this week, I engaged a 27 year old male in what I believed to be an interesting conversation. Our discussion centered around being a man, taking responsibility, and exhibiting impactful leadership before one's family. Just to set the stage, this young guy has two children by two different women. His oldest child is by his ex-girlfriend. His youngest child is by his current in-house girlfriend. Currently, they share a bed, parenting responsibilities, domestic duties, and the like. The only thing they don't share is a bank account. He also claimed to love her but he added, "I just want to be happy." As our conversation progressed I asked, "Since you're already doing the job, why don't you marry her?" He replied, "marriage changes things." Being the guy that I am I asked, "marriage changes what?" After talking in circles for the next few minutes, he finally answered, "I'm not ready for all of that yet."

Currently, there are numerous individuals who are afraid of getting married because they believe the dynamics of their 'marriage-like' relationship will change. As silly as this may sound, this mindset and lifestyle is so common that it's scary. Everybody outside of wedlock craves the benefits of marriage without actually being married. They desire the comforts of monogamy without legal commitment. Many have wasted valuable years, have become physically and emotionally vested, and have played the fool all because another individual didn't love them enough to wholly commit to them. Although these same outcomes can manifest because of divorce, at least there are consequences that were designed to protect both parties. What else did you expect to happen when WE have minimized, distorted, and devalued the true purpose and safeguards created by marriage?

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - Inwardly Divorced Outwardly Married

Inwardly divorced, outwardly married seems like it should be a contradiction but is it really? Is this concept crazily far-fetched or is it a sobering reality? How can anyone be divorced and married at the same time? Whether anyone cares to acknowledge this heartbreaking trend or not doesn't remove its overpowering existence from so many homes around this world. Everyday, there are numerous men and women who wake up hoping, wishing, and praying they weren't married to their current spouse.
Some of this is so bad that one of them will secretly desire ill-will to befall their spouse so that their conscience won't condemn them for being the first one to leave their failed marriage. Although we know some of this is conditional due to the ups and downs of this life, others constantly live in this state of perpetual discontent. In fact, many of them stay together on paper because of religious obligations, tax breaks. their public appearance, or for the sake of the children. Not only are their bedrooms ice cold, most of them don't even sleep in the same bed anymore. Can you say intimacy? There isn't any intimacy, love making, or meaningful conversations. Instead, they're either constantly arguing and fighting or silence has totally consumed their home. If they speak at all, it's an occasional surface conversation regarding the children, bills, or domestic duties. Who wants to willingly live their lives married to someone whom they don't like or love anymore? Although it's unfortunate, many live exactly like this everyday. If this wasn't true then we wouldn't be discussing it.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - Shhh

Shhh..."Can you keep a secret?" "Can we keep this between us?" "I won't tell if you won't?" Believe it or not, the average person currently lives their everyday life concealing at least one secret. The secret possessor has been thoroughly convinced by another to forever keep their mouth shut concerning what they've seen, know, or been told. Therefore, this valued information comes with a tremendously expensive price tag. In extreme cases, that price includes death. What are we really taking about here?

Personal information that will cause major problems or tough questions to be raised if those things that were supposed to remain private ever went public. When they do, individuals, families, organizations, enterprises, and other "entities" will have a lot of explaining to do. Sometimes, the original cover story exposes more loopholes of incriminating evidence instead of becoming a buffering means of damage control. What to disclose versus what to conceal becomes the revolving question of the day. So that I don't leave you in anymore suspense, "Shhh" will be an exclusive blog series that will crop up here from time to time. Just to whet your whistle in advance, the information you'll receive will be well worth the wait.  

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat? Part 3

Men Have Feelings Too is at it again with Part 3 of our series, "Why Do Married Men Cheat." Before I reveal the next reason, I want to encourage you to value and respect your marriages. What do you do, how do you feel, or what's your mindset when you don't trust your spouse? Better yet, what about when you believe your spouse doesn't trust you? Five, four, three, two, one...The lack of trust is another reason why married men cheat. Since trust covers a very wide spectrum, let's jump right into the shallow end of the pool. Maybe, we'll get an opportunity to develop the rest of the film later.

First and foremost, trust is the backbone of any relationship. Within the masculine world, a woman's undeniable trust is paramount to everything she will believe. Initially, it's pure and saturated with innumerable liberties and concessions. However, the very moment it's compromised, it will cause the victim to doubt and question every motive and action demonstrated by the violator. This is where things can get a little tricky.

Generally, when a man violates a woman's trust, he expects her to be understanding, forgiving, and to quickly return back to how things used to be prior his violation. To him, a kiss is just a kiss. Better yet, sex is just sex. I know this may be hard for most women to comprehend but within his mind, he honestly believes his feelings weren't attached to his actions. He was simply caught up in the moment. As a result, he'll become exceedingly annoyed when he discovers that he can't sell this concept to his victim. Furthermore, if he's left in this state too long, he'll become tremendously frustrated with her and the relationship to the point of cheating again or leaving altogether.

Conversely, when he's the victim or believes she's being unfaithful, inwardly he knows that she was physically involved with whomever because of emotional attachment. This makes this situation difficult for most men to reason through. Typically, after the news breaks, he'll find immediate justification within his heart to be harsh or violent towards her regardless of her reasoning. In many cases, he will reciprocate to get even or cut her off altogether because he also knows he'll never be able to reclaim that piece of her heart that has been compromised forever.        

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - Help Me to Understand Part 2

Due to an overwhelming response to a post that was released on March 14, 2017 entitled, "Help Me to Understand", I had to write an addendum. According to many sources, a transgender is an individual who's gender identity or expression doesn't correspond with their birth sex. Based upon observation, most who are committed to this type of expression will overcompensate in an attempt to convince themselves and others they are who they appear to be. If this isn't enough, many will go through the 'process' of becoming the gender they inwardly desire. Why is there an overwhelming inner longing to alter your gender or an attempt to redefine your role? Why aren't you happy with the person whom you were created to be or the person who once stared back at you in the mirror? Who told you that you couldn't be a feminine looking female that's attracted to women or a masculine looking male that's attracted to men?

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - Help Me to Understand

Although I know this topic is considered forbidden and controversial, we're going to discuss it anyway. Can anyone help me to understand the following scenarios? If a woman prefers other women, why does she believe that she must mimic a man's appearance and mannerisms to attract those women? Likewise, if a man prefers other men, why does he believe that he must mimic a woman's appearance and mannerisms to attract those men? Why can't that individual be a feminine female who prefers women or a masculine male who prefers men without compromising their masculinity or femininity? It seems to me that this individual is confused and is trying to convince themselves and others that they actually are the gender they're desperately hoping to identify with.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Monday, March 6, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - What's Your Purpose?

By the show of hands, can anyone tell me their purpose? Not the purpose you have chosen for yourself based upon your own natural talents and abilities or the one that was given to you by someone else. What I'm getting at is the main reason why you were born. If you think for one second that you just showed up on this planet by happenstance, then you're deceived and misguided. Frankly, if you don't know the reason(s) for your existence then this one thing is true, YOU'RE wasting valuable time aimlessly chasing an imaginary finish line. How miserable is that? So, you want me to believe that you enjoy constantly traveling without ever arriving at a final destination? Come on, even I know that you don't truly believe that bologna. If chasing money, material possessions, and women are the only pursuits any man can ultimately achieve then why aren't we satisfied when we final obtain them?  

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com

Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Monday, February 27, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat? Part 2

On January 18, 2017, the "Why do married men cheat" series officially launched. Today, part two will be brought to you without delay. Unresolved lust is another reason why married men cheat. This deceitful adversary hides within the heart, plagues the mind, and will sabotage any relationship if it isn't aggressively apprehended. Men, especially married men, often underestimate the power of lust and its associated desires. Just so you know, lust is defined as an uncontrolled sexual desire or appetite. The KEY word that we will be focusing upon is 'uncontrolled.'

Every day, men are bombarded with sexual content. Women dressing provocatively on the street or in the marketplace, the music videos we all love to watch, and the pornographic material that most of us crave are all examples of this phenomenon. Believe it or not, each one of these examples constantly feeds our appetites for more. If these sources aren't enough to tip our lustful scales towards compromise, allow me to add a few more less obvious triggers to this conversation.

When any man has had any sexual experiences prior to him getting married, occasionally, these past experiences will attempt to creep back into his life. This invasion is often unannounced and under certain circumstances, his old flame(s) will reappear too. Talk about unfair, how is a man supposed to stay faithful to his wife when his ex-lover(s) did things to his body that his wife won't even attempt. Not to mention, what if he's secretly fantasizing about a blast from his past while he's preparing for sex with his wife. It's situations like these that periodically compete with every ounce of faithfulness within his body. Let me say this, the more sexual experiences a man has had will ultimately determine the amount of difficulty he must endure regarding his variability to unresolved lust. 

Let me take this conversation up one more level. One practical way a married man tries to logically cope with this lustful imbalance is by having a consistent "love-life" with his wife. In the husband's defense, God Almighty originally designed marriage as a means for him and his wife to mutually meet one another's sexual needs. Therefore, to him, his wife represents his ONLY acceptable outlet for this type of expression. In the wife's defense, why should she be required to subject herself to his uncontrollable desires given that they were essentially created by someone else other than herself? Therefore, to her, his needs seem to be a never-ending chore. Now, here comes the juicy part. Over the course of time, what do you think will happen within his heart and mind if his wife constantly refuses to humble herself to meet his sexual needs? It's at this pivotal point, he's left with the following options: One, masturbate; two, engage in another activity that he prayerfully hopes will temporarily take his mind off his apparent need; three, cross the line of fidelity. Most, if not all the time, options one and three are realistic byproducts of an intermittent "love life" with his wife and unresolved lust.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - What is the Purpose of a Woman?

"What's the purpose of a woman?" Why were women created in the first place?" If you were to ask the average man this question, most of them will say that women were created solely for a man's sexual pleasure. Now, I'll agree that one part of their purpose is to assist us with procreation; however, this can't be the sum of who she is. You mean to tell me this extremely creative, detail oriented, nurturing helper is only good for one thing? If you are a man and you wholeheartedly believe that sex is the only reason for a woman's existence, then you are exceedingly misinformed. One of the reasons why women are abused, disregarded, and endangered is because men at large don't know nor do they understand her worth, importance, or purpose. Unfortunately, the vast majority of women don't know this information either. That's why many women always seem to sell themselves short. Anytime you don't know the specific purpose of something, YOU WILL ABUSE IT! If you hang around here from time to time, I'll educate you on who she is, her purpose, and why she's more valuable that pure gold.    

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - I Don't Understand Her

"I don't understand her" is one of the greatest silent cries that most men face. Generally, this simple yet profound statement surfaces after an intense argument or any other unproductive conversation with your wife, fiancĂ©, girlfriend, or side chick. Any man who has ever thought or uttered these words indelibly knows the gut-wrenching frustration, anger, and hopelessness one feels surrounding this confession. What's even worst is feeling this exact way without having a healthy outlet to defuse it. Most of the time, the standard prescription for this type of situation is immediate silence and distance, demonstrating a harsh demeanor, and turning to one of our favorite "habits" to "gather ourselves." Although most of us know this customary routine won't resolve our current issue(s) with her, at least it provides a temporal safe haven for reflection.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - Who's Your Daddy?

Who's your daddy? Quite often this humorous question is casually tossed around in a joking manner, especially when it's used as a sexual undertone. The bitter reality of the matter is this harsh question isn't comical at all. There are countless fatherless victims who wake up every single day with the frightening anxiety, unquenchable pain, and overwhelming disparity of not knowing who their daddy is. Although it's unimaginable to perceive, there are many individuals who couldn't pick their father out of a line up if their lives depended upon it. How heartbreaking is this? For the brave few who decide to embark upon this demoralizing quest for closure, they will soon meet one of these unpleasant realities: a twisted trail of lies, many unanswered questions, and their hearts filled with anger all because the deceit, betrayal, and bitterness they'll discover along the way will be exceedingly more than what they bargained for. Make no mistake about it, none of these victims willingly chose this path of indifference on their own. In fact, they were abandoned, left for dead, and forced to figure out the inner workings of this extremely cold world all by themselves. What's even worse is many of these broken individuals remain damaged, then they’ll give birth to another generation thus perpetuating this vicious cycle.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - "Just Being A Man"

"He's just being a man." How often have we heard this pathetic statement? Typically, this famous catch phrase surfaces after some man has been caught up in a compromising situation, especially one that involves a woman. Immediately following any disgraceful allegations of infidelity or the truth surrounding his indiscretions come to the light, someone will utter, "he's just being a man." What is this specific declaration really conveying or targeting? Are we condoning his behavior or simply dismissing it? Honestly, this statement seems to suggest that all men will cheat at some point. Is there any truth to support this claim?

I'm not naive to believe that a man will exercise sound judgement if sex is assumed or promised. Typically, this type of situation doesn't favor the man. Rarely, do we survive this test. Regardless of how you slice it, he didn't act alone. If the other person involved was deceived then "yes" the cheater deserves 100% of the blame; however, if the other person knew this man was acting inappropriately yet they willingly encouraged him, then why do we highlight his actions and excuse theirs. If his infidelity involves a woman then I've never heard anyone say, "She's just being a woman."

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - Why Do Married Men Cheat? Part 1

For eons, one question has always risen to the top...why do married men cheat? This sensitive topic has been repeatedly debated among the sexes, within our societies, cultures, and our respective media outlets. However, most of those debates only seem to cover the surface issues; not the heart where those decisions are truly made. This is the reason why Men Have Feelings Too has decided to raise the bar by going where most other sources would not dare go.

For starters, let's set some necessary groundwork before I present reason one. Firstly, as we examine this series of reasons, I want you to be mindful that none of them are presented in any particular order. Second, no reason is more important than the other. Third, it could be that more than one reason caused him to step out of the protective safeguards, which his marriage afforded him. Lastly, none of these reasons are given to glorify, encourage, make excuses for, or condone infidelity or divorce. Honestly, the byproducts of infidelity and divorce are gruesome, embarrassing, and many innocent bystanders and feeders from those relationships, also bare physiological and emotional bruises, just like the parties involved. Having said that, let's begin.

Are you ready? A lack of appreciation at home is one of the main reasons why married men cheat. For a man, feeling appreciated represents a vital building block that his ego or manhood is based upon. If this critical support is weakened or destroyed, it's only a matter of time before he finds an environment where that necessary support will be repaired or replaced. Initially, this place may not be within the arms of another woman; however, it might be on his job, within his social organizations, among his friends, or within his hobbies or toys. If his wife fails to see these warning signs and continues to ignore THIS need, sooner than later, she will learn that he would rather be "there" than for him to be at home.

What his wife doesn't understand is he feels demoralized and apathetic within his current domain. This imbalance will cause more arguments, periods of isolation, and him crowding his schedule with other activities that he believes will build him up not tear him down. Why? Every man NEEDS acceptance, encouraging words, and acts of appreciation from his wife. Words like "Thank you", "I love you", "I appreciate you", "I need you" does wonders for him in ways she can't even imagine. If she follows up those words with thoughtful actions like meaningful touches, running him a warm bath, fixing his dinner, putting on his "favorite" outfit, and taking the lead when it comes to his physical needs then she creates a comfortable oasis of love, support, emotional peace, and physical appeal. Collectively, these things build him up.

No man wants to work all day, get beat up in the workplace, then come home to a dirty house. Nor does he want to come home to a wife that constantly dresses like a tomboy or one that unrelentingly nags him about what he hasn't done, needs to do, or how much she's dissatisfied with him. Believe me, these types of things already weigh heavily upon the mind of a responsible man so those additional stresses only make matters worse. Not to mention, the other women in the work/market place that persistently compliment him, flirt with him, make sexual remarks, or suggest how they can make life better for him. If they tickle his ear just enough, he'll have to decide whether he'll go home where he's not being appreciated or go to a place where there's a realistic promise of appreciation and gratification. I will tell you this, the environment that strokes his ego the most will be where he will spend the majority of his time. The same door that his wife haphazardly leaves open WILL be the same one that the mistress will enter. The latter one knows that if she consistently strokes his fragile ego, gives him that extra attention, and shows him that missing appreciation, eventually, this man staving from appreciation will eat. Although he knows its wrong, he'll find justification within himself for secretly eating there with this resolve, "Since my wife doesn't appreciate me, at least someone does."

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - Married Men and Infidelity

Typically, married men don't walk into the marriage with cheating or divorce being options. If the opposite were true then why would he get married in the first place? He could easily keep playing the field as a 'garden tool', heart-breaker, and life wrecker because those unfortunate outcomes are expected from single, immature men. When a man finally matures, he begins to realize that life is short, it's precious, and there's more to it than a different woman every night. Whether he confesses it or not, that lifestyle gets old too after a certain point. So...what triggers a married man to turn back to the vomit he once left? What beckons him to return to the single life or roll the dice by living a double life?

Starting this month, Men Have Feelings Too will be exposing one reason per month. Our goal is to get to the heart of the matter, not just glorify the symptoms that most blogs and magazines do. Just to wet your whistle, let me say this...the physical act of cheating is the final manifestation of a simultaneous series of thoughts, conversations, and other actions that aided it. Men Have Feelings Too will reveal those parts of the series that most overlook. We will focus upon the inner workings of those outward manifestations.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.


Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Men Have Feelings Too - Why Are You Hiding?

Who are you? Why are you hiding? If you were to ask the average man about women, sports, or politics, he'll have plenty to talk about. In fact, he may never shut up! However, if you were to ask him about himself, typically, he'll be at a loss for words. Hear me...I'm not talking about what he does or who he knows, I'm referencing who he is, how he feels, or what he meditates upon. As long as his conversations remain general, he's an expert, a wealth of knowledge, or the most interesting man in the room but when things become personal, he'll clam up faster than the speed of light. What most of you are fail to disclose is what's really important to you. Why is that?

Mister, why do you hide within that shell? Who are you? Why do you always either, deflect the spotlight away from yourself or over inflate yourself larger than your contemporaries? What are you hiding? Why are you over compensating? Why are you afraid? If you say, "I'm not hiding anything" then you're lying. Although you may never admit it, every man has things that challenge him like insecurities, fears, and doubts. These types of things are common issues that ALL of US face. The problem is WE never discuss them. If you would only swallow your pride, open your mouth, and ask for help, you will discover a plethora of highly respected men struggling to figure things out, just like YOU.

Until next time...

Walter Hunter
walter@menhavefeelingstoo.com
https://menhavefeelingstoo.com


Feel free to leave comments or feedback.